Light.

“The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.”  John 1:5 (NIV)

I was reading this Scripture the other day.  My first thought was “That is pretty abstract!”, and I found myself struggling to understand what God was trying to convey through John.  I knew that John was speaking of Jesus, but what really caught my attention was John 1:5.  Below, at the bottom of the page in the footnote, was a line that gave an alternative reading, which means there was room in how the Greek was translated:  “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (emphasis mine).

So I started to think more about light and the word “overcome”.  Literally, what light is, when do we see it, and how does it relate to darkness; praying that God might grant me some insight.  Pondering this, I had a startling realization–light shines into the darkness, and though, it seems overwhelmingly surrounded by it, darkness cannot overcome it.

You can have a room filled with nothing but shadows and darkness, and yet, with a small light on, the darkness cannot swallow that light even with the overwhelming amount of darkness pushing against it.  Thinking further, darkness only arrives when a light source is turned off or the sun sets.  It is dependent on light diminishing one way or another to allow it in, and so, it cannot penetrate light in the way that light breaks into its realm.  It does not arrive to block out sunlight; instead it is allowed in because the sunlight is no longer present on our side of the earth. Think of the last time you held a flashlight and how it lights up the area where it is shined.  Even as we cast shadows, they are not dictated by a source other then our bodies blocking the light.  Light is in control.

“Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made.  In Him was life, and that life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not overcome it.”  John 1:3-5

Let’s look deeper at the definition of “light”.  Now I am taking this out of a old source, but one that I love dearly:  American Dictionary of the English Language written by Noah Webster, the 1828 edition, republished by the Foundation for American Christian Education.  Light is “that ethereal agent or matter which makes objects perceptible to the sense of seeing, but the particles of which are separately invisible.”  Though the definition is much longer, I paused at this sentence because I love the idea that light is what makes us see but, in and of itself, it is invisible.

Do you want to know how I think this applies to us?

God has given each of us the chance if we so choose to spread His light.  “There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John.  He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through Him all men might believe.  He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.”  John 1:6-8.

Now many think that shining the light means sharing the gospel, and yes, that is one of the definitions of light and one way to look at it.  But light is even more encompassing in its definition…it shines through an object making it perceptible to others.  And so, what if sharing the gospel is really about letting His light shine through our lives so others can see how God is present in it rather than just telling them about Jesus?  My friends, living the light is so much than mere words can convey…

Did you know that light’s definition also includes comfort, joy, felicity, happiness, and the understanding of judgment as well as deliverance and saving knowledge, both of which can involve way more than just salvation. How many of those characteristics radiate out of you?  How often do you allow God to use your life to bring comfort, happiness, and joy to others?  How many times have you helped gently deliver someone from something they dreaded trusting God in His desire to have you do so without your need to persuade them about His salvation in the first place…that it might be something more simple liking helping pay a bill or offering a dinner to a family who doesn’t have the strength or ability to make one?

Going further, light also means “having little weight” and “not tending to the center of gravity.”  I love those ideas as our world literally stands because of gravity, but light somehow is not controlled by it.  It doesn’t follow the trends per se, but instead goes wherever it can.  And what if the way it moves, how it acts, is meant to teach us something about how we are suppose to live?  To not be controlled by the “rules” of this world, but instead, to be a part of that which illuminates it so that others can see all those things that embody Christ in us.  More love, more joy, more comfort, more understanding, more truth and less judgment, heaviness, and oppression.

And what if we are meant to only be the instrument in which God shines His light to this world?  Our lives, not only our words, as testimony to His very existence.  John was quick to point out that those who are His are not the “Light”, but only witnesses.  Like John, our lives can become the cylinders by which His light passes, especially when we allow Him to transform them piece by piece, attitude by attitude, hurt by hurt, sin by sin, block by block, and step by step.  It is there in those changing moments with God–no matter how small–that we will make the best witnesses.  His light illuminating us so that others can see the real changes that only He can bring; the ones that people notice because they know you and know Someone has had to have helped you to make those difficult changes.

Light is not heavy nor burdensome.  It is not oppressive.  It is easy to perform, swift, active and nimble.  It is unencumbered.  It is not dense, strong nor violent.  It often eases burdens and purifies, with those just being a few of its characteristics.  So my friend, where do you stand in the Light and are you willing to let Him shine through you?

“And glory has come to Me through them.”  ~John 17:10

By faith…a new Christmas program

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  ~Hebrews 11:1

When I started this blog, I talked about paying attention to the little things that happen often right in front of us.

Easter 2010 culminated with us standing in a kindergarten classroom.  Next to me, lined up by the door was a gal from the Food Bank of Eastern Michigan, my dad, my sister Robin, her husband Leo, and Joann, a regular volunteer of Families Building Faith.  The principal had interrupted the classroom of excited children with a special surprise.  It was the Easter baskets we had made.  One for each of them delivered by the sixth grade students.

As we stood there watching them receive their basket at their desks, a young boy pointed to me and wiggled his finger beckoning me over to his desk.  Bending down, he told me that he was going to give two out of the three stuffed animals in his basket to his younger brothers.  Ever so quickly and confidently, he assigned them the names of Jeremiah and Elijah.  I smiled with a little tug at my heart…those names were from the Bible.

Smiling at him, I asked him his name.   He proudly said “Isaiah.”  I laughed thinking, “Go figure, God would confirm where we are at through this child”…Isaiah and Jeremiah hold special Scriptures that have always been a great comfort to me.  It was also in this instance that I realized we needed to label each child’s basket with their name.  The teacher had told them they couldn’t open them and they were going to move them to a central pile, but I could see that the children were already invested in them…they had seen and touched their basket.  So the teacher graciously allowed us (all of the volunteers) to get down on our knees and write the children’s names on their baskets.

As time has gone by, I haven’t forgotten Isaiah.  This year when we delivered Easter baskets again and I was in a classroom, I saw a young boy cross in front of me.  I thought I recognized him, but wasn’t sure why.  Then I realized that we were standing in the first grade room, last year’s kindergarten class.  I scanned the room for Isaiah.  I walked over to him and said, “Hi Isaiah.  I am not sure you remember me, but I remember you from last year.”  He seemed shy, and I told him that I hoped he had a good rest of the year

Those little moments…remember how I said they are important.  The week before Thanksgiving, I sat at a table with a group of parents from that elementary school.  The principal had invited Families Building Faith to attend their Parent Action Committee meeting in part because they were celebrating with a Thanksgiving meal and she really wanted to thank us for all the different things we have brought their way.

Trying to connect with them, I told them about meeting the kindergarten class for the first time and the story of Isaiah.  The parents said, “Oh, he’s a sweet boy!”  They all seemed to know of him…nodding and shaking their heads.

On the way up to Flint that day, I had thought about our Christmas outreaches through Families Building Faith and had wondered if maybe the school could help us connect with some truly needy families.  As the meeting progressed, the subject of Christmas came up.  This year, the school had to bypass an opportunity to assign their needy families to a local Christmas outreach program because most of their families are unable to drive to pick up the food and toys.  My heart broke when they said they have approximately 125 families in need.  Last year, of the 125, approximately only 15 were able to take advantage of the services due to a lack of transportation.

Well, that answered my question about needy families!!  I sat there thinking, “Yikes, 125!”.  At the end of the meeting, I ventured over to the principal and coordinator.  I had a car full of clothes for the kids that we needed to unload, and then quietly explained our gently used Toy Drive.  I told her that I was embarrassed to ask for only five families…but would they consider helping us connect with five?  They were so gentle, kind and excited…and to them, five adopted is better than none.

We headed out to the car to unload it, and I met with the coordinator about getting the names.  Actually I gave her a list of questions that we need to know about each family.  When I got to my last question, it was about food.  What we have learned is that many, in really tough places, don’t even have ingredients, stoves or the cooking equipment to actually cook.  I asked if they could inquire about that ability so that we could tailor any food contributions to each family’s true needs.  What good is it to give them a raw turkey if they have nowhere to cook it?

She nodded and said they were beginning to realize that some of their families are struggling with that very issue.  She went on to talk about a family she knew that was grappling with cooking.  The family lives in the projects, which are not too far from the school.  The dad loved to cook and always made the meals.  Early one morning this late spring, he stepped out to leave and was gunned down, killed, right on his front steps.  They had four children, four young boys.  The coordinator continued on with how the older two boys had begged their mom to please cook them something, but she had no idea how.

Another volunteer in the room asked how we learned of the school so I shared the story of how the Food Bank of Eastern Michigan had helped us connect.  The parent coordinator, in turn, mentioned that family again as they took part in a video done for the Food Bank, and happened to say one of the little boy’s name…Isaiah.  I stopped her.  Was Isaiah in second grade this year?  “Yes, yes, he is.”  Does he have two younger brothers?  “He does.”  We realized quickly that this Isaiah was the Isaiah I met two years ago.  It was his stepfather who was gunned down this last spring 2012…it was Isaiah and his older brother who had step over that spot each morning in grief and torment to finish school.

I felt my heart tear and an ache develop.  I was once told that such feelings might equate to a “holy discontent”…a fire that won’t let go of your heart driving you towards action versus inaction…to believe that something can be done when many just turn away.  I had known there that God had a reason for why I was asked to go.  A reason that He was nudging me to follow though I had no idea why.  The only thing I knew was that I felt strongly there was something I was supposed to learn.  Never in a million years did I expect it to be about Isaiah…

His mom totally broke down.  Four young children.  No way to cook and not even knowing how.  Living in the dangerous projects and struggling with her own deep grief, she sent Isaiah and his older brother to live with their grandmother in Clio, which is just north of Flint.  All four boys were devastated with the youngest ones not understanding what had happened.  Now not only a father gone, but a family torn apart.  No older brothers to protect them and no younger brothers to care for.

It turns out that a teacher who knew Isaiah was visiting his new school one day when he ran up to her, threw his arms around her and cried out her name.  He hugged her closely much to his current teacher’s surprise.  The next day the principal called.  Isaiah hadn’t spoken since he had arrived.  Trauma, I am sure.  Losing his dad, and eventually his mom and baby brothers whom he cares so much about.  In fact, after his stepfather passed, he had proclaimed that he would the “man” in the house to help take care of them all.  The principal of the new school wanted to know if there was any way the teacher could come back to visit him.  I stood there stunned.  I stood there with an ache in my heart that was way too familiar on this journey with God.

What to do?

What to do?

What do you do when God hands you information like this?  When He fills your heart with an ache that just isn’t going to let go?  When He open your eyes to walls that are crumbling, lives that are broken, and then let’s you look at the hands at your side?  Do you really turn, thank the person for the update and walk away?

Must we always tell Him, “No that’s too much, too big, impossible to help…?”  Is it…is it really?

So I thought…quickly.  Somebody has to be able to reach him, and I pray that that teacher indeed gives her time.  But I knew when I walked up to Isaiah last year, there was a reason.  I wasn’t sure why.  I don’t like to single out people, and I don’t like to draw attention to myself.  Honestly, as hard as it is to believe, I prefer the drop and runs of service work.  Letting people know that we care, that God loves them, and then leaving the rest in His hands…no need for thank you’s, accolades, or praise…just keeping it simple.  But, deep down…I knew then there was a reason God was nudging to talk to him…that there was a reason he called me over to his table to tell me the names of his stuffed animals.

My question to you is this…what do you do when God breaks your heart?  Do you turn towards it or away?  Do you offer what you can, or do you say you have nothing to offer?  That none of the gifts and blessings God has granted you can be used, or do you trust God He has placed that person, that situation, that information in your path for a reason and allow Him to guide you to a better understanding?

Our world is truly a wonderful and amazing place (just so you know, I am not a fan of those who disparage this world as if it was a mistaken or haphazard creation), but with all of its beauty, it is also filled with hurting, lonely, and yes, many heartbroken people.  Individuals who just need to know God has forgotten them, that they are cared for and have a purpose.  So I asked myself, how can I turn away from Isaiah’s story and do nothing?

So…after much prayer…

Please join us as we venture into uncharted territory for Families Building Faith as we seek to adopt out families at this elementary school and bring them some joy this Christmas season.  I’ve posted four families that can be adopted on our database at www.signupgenius.com.  You must have an invite from us to check this out, and you can obtain one from us by emailing us at familiesbuildingfaith@yahoo.com.  You can also hit the direct link on our postings to those invites at our official Facebook page:  www.facebook/familiesbuildingfaith.  If all four get adopted, we will see if we can get more posted…the school is willing, we are willing…now let us pray that God move hearts of those who might be able to help.

The key to our program will be having everything turned into us so that we can deliver the last couple of days of school at this elementary school.  The due date to our doorstep is Monday, December 17th…but you are always welcome to drop off beforehand.  We are setting spending limits (this is not about Sony Playstations) to simple gifts, and we will also be asking for food donations…specific to each family’s ability.  Some may be able to cook a ham; others may need lunch meat and bread.

And yes, my family will be adopting Isaiah and his family.  Please pray that somehow I can deliver some of the gifts directly to him letting him know that not only have I not forgotten, but that he has been sought out because God indeed loves him and I truly care.

You might ask why and how we would launch a new program with the craziness of the Christmas season…but isn’t that what it is all about?  A crazy story of love, faithfulness and willingness; a journey to a different place where some were forgotten by the rest; lives to be touched, hearts to be rend, and a world so desperately needing change?  Everything about Christmas is because God so loves us!  And in return, He asks us to love one another…

As I sat at the table during lunch, I shared with some of the parents a thank you note I received from a child after Easter.  In it, the child said it was the only thing she received for Easter.  A grandmother sitting across from me nodded and looked down.  She quietly said, “You don’t know how many of these children only receive things through the school.”  I know it is all too true.

So…

We are hoping to not only adopt out some families but to continue and expand our Toy Drive to cover those whose families aren’t adopted.  Yes, please join us in prayer as we continue to collect gently-used and new toys…praying that God bring us enough to provide a toy to as many as possible, that He move hearts to look at their toy boxes and closets for what they are no longer using, and that He bring us those who can help sort and deliver.

We know it is a big task, but we have a bigger God!  We trust and are asking God to help us move mountains with those willing to share their hearts, hands and ability to bring happiness, comfort and hope to little ones such as these this Christmas morn.  And what a gift He has given us to be a part of it!

“Jesus replied, ‘I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.  If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.'”  ~Matthew 21:21-22

90 days…

Today is ninety days since my dad passed away.  So hard to believe.  This week the pain has been especially strong and enduring; yet…it is only for moments in days that have been blessed with sunshine and peace.

As I was walking this week, this song truly spoke to me.  As I listened, I began to see all these memories flood in and how God has given me so many others to make it through the ups and downs of life.  It was with these thoughts that I decided to try to make a movie with some of the pictures for my mom, my siblings and their families, my husband and son.  The song says it all…I am so grateful that God has given me all of them.

To my family: I decided to post it here as I struggled to send it to you any other way (still learning all this IT stuff–even Mark tried helping me to no avail–I’ll keep trying to find a more direct way to send this)…please click on the blue line below!  For those who have steadfastly walked this journey with us, you are welcome to take a look too…I hope you enjoy.

God gave me you

Hello 2012…

“He whose walk is blameless is kept safe, but he whose ways are perverse will suddenly fall.”  ~Proverbs 28:18

While homeschooling with Josh, a series of songs came over the radio.  His cirriculum allows us to work together and sometimes he works independently.  We were at this moment when I decided to spend some time in my journal as I listened to the music in the background.

For the last few months, a couple of songs have really been speaking to me.  As I listened to their lyrics, they reminded me of the different things going on in my life.    Quietly, these songs seemed to highlight the work that God is doing inside of me.

This first song and video originally spoke to me while out in Minnesota last August.  I was out there with my dad as he was being diagnosed with terminal recurrent cancer.  Back then, I sung it with all my heart to remind myself that though life was changing, I still had to keep moving.  Ironically, it was one of the most important lessons Mayo Clinic taught us…you must keep moving, especially when it is difficult and hard.  To stop, to despair, to lay in bed all day…even when that is all you want to do…sends you down a road that becomes very hard to recover from.  Your body suffers from inactivity and within short order you lose muscle strength and mass, so your best hope of finding health is to move.  Now reflecting on it, that is mostly what my dad continued to do up until the week of his death…he kept moving, kept hoping, and kept loving even though the end was near.  This song carried me through the end of my dad’s days and is still carrying me through my grief…

This second song speaks to me every time about God’s great love for me despite how often I fall outside of His will for my life.  When He opened my eyes to my sin, my doubt, my failing to trust, the “washing” that I need to do…this song resonated deeply to remind me that no matter what He loves me.  If you listen closely, you will hear the song reference the tough questions that fall on us when we lose someone we love…and remember, my friends no matter where you are in this life, on this journey…He loves you anyway!

These lessons, this growth, the pain–the challenges, and the changes…in a way, all these things contain and sum up my hope for 2012.  While many are setting new resolutions this year, I just want to continue moving deeper into God’s grace and the paths He has set before me and my family…this year I am looking for His inspiration and strength to be steadfast and persevering in these changes; to truly make my walk more blameless by drawing closer to Him.  I hope your 2012 finds a song or two that touches your soul and lifts you up!

“The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made.  The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.  He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them.”  ~Psalm 145:17-19

See You Later Alligator

“Memories:  a mental impression retained; a recollection…”  ~Author Unknown

Rebecca was the first to have a child in our family.  Her and Doug lived in Yellowstone, Montana when Abbie was born.  We would see them a couple of times a year, and talk with her over the phone.  She was (and still is, though now a teen!) the sweetest thing, and I know my dad was head over heels for her.  Back in Michigan, everything came to stop for all of us when Rebecca and Doug came back into town.  My dad would rush home to see them, and if they stopped here at our house first, he would always come over to meet them.

I believe it was in having to say a tough good-bye to Abbie and Kayla that my dad began teasingly saying “See you later alligator!”  All of us would encourage them to respond with “in a while, crocodile!!”  It became the standard parting that transcended to Mark and I’s son, Josh, and Robin and Leo’s daughter, Kaitlyn.  I believe dad even continued to the tradition with Danica, the little girl Robin and Leo fostered until age 2, and we are blessed to still see occasionally.  Dad always had a smile on his face, loved to use humor, and would try to get them to laugh as they were saying good-bye.  No small feat when parting was met with such sweet sorrow that they were not nearer.

As we walked through the cemetery one of the fateful days in October, we were delighted and encouraged by many of the headstones.  Some were so sad; others said little, but here and there, dotted in the landscape, were these funny little sayings.  Some made you laugh even though you were crying.  Still to this day, we like to wander a bit to see what we’ve missed.  Those wonderful sayings in the face of such a tragic situation gave my mom the inspiration to find something that spoke to who my dad was…I like to think, still is 🙂  I am not sure who remembered “See you later alligator” but we all quickly recalled how much dad used that saying when the kids were young…

It just seemed the perfect fit…to remember him by but also in how true, it is.  For we will see him later and in a while (the chorus now for us).  To dad, it will probably only seem like minutes as we are told that a day in heaven is like a 1,000 years here on earth.  For those curious, I believe my mom wants “In a while crocodile” on her side…humor runs strong in our family on both sides!