Where is Normal?

“[O]n Monday, the World Health Organization warns that the pandemic is worsening globally, and things won’t return to ‘the old normal’ for some time.” 

Andrew O’Reilly, “Newsom orders closure of indoor activities across California as coronavirus cases increase”, July 13, 2020, Fox News.

Let us talk about “normal” as it appears to be the subject many are talking about.  How do we get back to school?  How do we restart our sports programs? How much longer will this virus impact our everyday lives!?!

Since the first days of the pandemic, there has been a pining in hearts for a return to “normal”.  Though we stayed in our homes, the ones we have known and loved, it was as if we were inexplicably moved into a strange, new existence. The visible parts of life were the same, but the ones we usually do not worry about–the invisible parts–became much more ominous. It is a reality that most of us are not accustomed to; good health is often not appreciated until it is gone. On account of Covid-19, we have not been able to reestablish the “normal” that we crave. 

With the shock and newness of this global contagion, in the midst of everything becoming noticeably different, was the confusing truth that almost everything was also the same.  Oftentimes with any significant loss, this truth holds true; life continues on the same for everyone else while your life has turned upside down. This time, it was not so individual; rather, the whole world was experiencing it simultaneously.

The old version of “normal” no longer existed comfortably with the new risks to human life that this virus posed. While our homes, habits, patterns and interpersonal relationships remained identical, distinct changes and considerations had to be made to protect their sanctity.  Even today, four months later, despite being with the same people in the same houses in the same towns, things are handled differently.  Our actions, behaviors and choices are tailored to some degree to consider this contagion.

During the shutdown, I heard people speak of their beloved homes as if they were a prison.  The four walls that they adored had become barricades that closed in on them, confining them from the outside life they once knew. Relationships, normally defined by segregated hours at work or school contrasted with smaller hours at home, were tested by the unexpected strain of countless hours spent together.  Life had shifted in a way that we had not foreseen.

An avid gardener spoke of returning to a nursery, when they reopened, only to find that despite the flowers, tools and building being the same, her ability to relax and enjoy the trip out did not come easily.  Concern was a weighty burden that dampened the whole experience.  The potential threat of exposure kept her guarded and left her quickly tired of the watchfulness needed to stay safe. For many, the comings and goings in life, coupled with the need for caution in such interactions, no longer allows for the luxury of strolling around unconcerned. With such, I began to hear repeatedly, “I just want things to be ‘normal’.”  Sometimes I have heard, “Things will never return to ‘normal’!”  Quite honestly, both ideas express the same sentiment: I want what I once knew backMy normal.

I am a big fan of trying to learn what we can in any given moment (good or bad), so to understand “normal” a bit better, let us look at its definition:

1. Adjective. Conforming to a standard; usual, typical or expected.

2. Noun. The usual, average or typical state or condition.

Definition from Oxford Languages, online.

Understand that “normal” involves what we expect, not the unexpected. It is often what we are comfortable with: our usual surroundings, friends and families. Each of us has a typical routine to our day, whether at work or home, and this new environment is anything but predictable or usual.  In fact, the past four months, as well as the days ahead, have not been nor will they be typical to us.

Uncomfortable masks, limitations on travel, and restraints in a myriad of ways will encompass our lives more than we will like. The virus requires us to be more thoughtful, less hasty, not-so-easy going, coupled with a greater need to care about others and focus less on the individual self as the center of the universe.  These necessary changes have asked us to do more though doing less, communicate better with both openness but also restraint, gather together in new, impersonal ways despite a deep longing for in-person fellowship.  An irony of sorts–that to engage, we must also do the opposite of what we normally do or want. To have the people we want to love in the near future, we must distance ourselves in the present. Thus, we need to learn how to love differently, give more cautiously, and care more carefully.

Six months ago, we lived in a world where we could hand over items with little thought other than wanting to get rid of it or do good with it. Today we must ask, “How can I safely hand this over to someone without also transferring this invisible contagion, which could do them more physical harm than material good?”  With loved ones, or even just those we want to see, it is truly necessary to restrain ourselves from hugs, handshakes or other modes that supply this virus with new hosts.  We must learn to adapt and love atypically to what we have always known.  Our world has changed, and will continue to change, regardless of the denial and frustration that seems to be in abundance in our state, country and world. 

Digging deeper into the synonyms of “normal”, you will find words like: “natural, orderly…regular, routine…reasonable, well-adjusted, healthy, right, in good health.”  Isn’t it interesting that “normal” includes healthy and in good health?  To be in a normal state, things must be orderly, regular, routine, reasonable and well adjusted.  Consequently, our previous actions, and even indifference, towards disease prevention must adjust and become more reasonable with the new realities we are facing with Covid-19.  We no longer have the “normal” we once knew, by its very definition, and thus, cannot hope to overcome its impact on our world if we continue acting haphazardly and disorderly about what we do. We will not head towards the “normal” we all crave until most, if not everyone, is on the same page on how to restrict its spread.

Sometimes it is not enough to just “know” about something. We must explore the opposite of it to fully appreciate its scope.  In this instance, examining the antonyms of “normal” is beneficial. These are words like “abnormal, different, disorderly, extraordinary, irregular, rare, uncommon, unusual, exceptional, odd, strange…unhealthy, sick, poor, unfit, irrational, and unconventional.” http://www.dictionary.com/normal/antonyms (emphasis mine). 

Folks, I am not sure we could find better set of words to describe what is happening in our world today.  We are definitely in extraordinary times. Pandemics are unusual and uncommon.  Covid-19 has been unconventional in its symptoms, progression and impact. Though it has similarities to other coronaviruses, it has been anything but predictable.  It does not act like most of the other viruses the world has known.  In fact, it has acted different, disorderly and been exceptionally difficult to figure out why it impacts some and not others.  Its mechanism for attachment to our cellular structures is unusual and a bit odd in its cellular, crown-like shape.  The fact that it can attack multiple organs and lead to organ failure outside of the lungs exemplifies just how nuanced of an opponent it is.  While we are fortunate that most can survive it, it is remarkable that it can take down perfectly healthy people as well as the sick and weak. 

In a totally different realm, and within short order of Covid-19’s arrival, people have acted irrationally in response to it. There has been a rise of conspiracy theories and political justifications for denying the virus’s very existence and impact. People are acting unfit for living in a society that cares for one another. We have seen spitting, punching, hitting, and swearing at each other. One too many have died because they have asked someone to wear a mask. Beaches, bars, restaurants, pools, and backyards full of people as if nothing lurked in the shadows. Souls are being ridiculed and mocked when being prudent and cautious. Store clerks are having to handle unruly and disorderly customers who refuse to abide by simple rules for service. There is a general misuse of the Constitution and a strange claim that the right to have an individual opinion and choice equates to a fundamental freedom to do as one pleases to the potential harm of others. Again, today’s society seems quite different from what we once had and what we were truly founded upon.

What has been even more unconventional is what we have seen world governments doing in response to Covid.  While each has done what they have determined to be best, one by one, allies and enemies, have had to shelter their people in place. Hence, shrinking or shutting down their economies.  In the vast diversity of governments with various political structures, Covid-19 has bowed them low…not in fear of each other, but in fear of what IT can do to their paradigm of reality.  This is not about politics or leaders or businesses; it is about a contagion that holds the cards right now in impacting our world. 

Let us look clearly at history to see where that has happened before?  Even in wartime and in other pandemics, we have not seen the world brought to its knees like this. In too many places and with the best, most advanced health care in all of history, hospitals and medical institutions have been shockingly overwhelmed, outpaced and unable to deal with all of the desperate pleas for help from those with the contagion. In country after country, people have perished because the systems were overcome by sheer numbers and need. Souls expiring in hallways, ambulances and at homes.

Restaurants, businesses, industries, and non-essential governmental agencies have shut and stood still in time. Worldwide travel restricted; cruise ships unable to find safe harbor. Mass graves in Iran, Brazil and China to bury the astounding number of dead accumulating in such a short time. Refrigerated trucks brought in to collect the bodies in New York, New Jersey and Michigan, and are now needed again in other parts of our country as morgues can no longer handle the number of dead from those who insisted things were back to “normal” after lock downs.  

Nowhere in recorded history have we seen such a response out of peacetime governments.  And now, a resurgence of cases is occurring again as states and countries attempt to re-open. Very simply put, it is happening where interactions have increased between people. To say such responses are rare is an understatement.  Rather, it is unheard of. It is why it is incumbent upon people to be honest with themselves about where “normal” is…as it is not here anymore.

Whether we like it or not, times are abnormal right now.  You cannot really slice it any other way.

In this truth, it is fundamental to see that denial and dismissal will not serve us well any longer.  No matter how much we may want it to be “normal” again, as it was a few months ago, it does not fit with today’s reality.  There is no better indicator then the currently rising cases that have gone hand in hand with those who are trying to insist that the normal they knew, or the normal they want, can exist with Covid-19.  It cannot and will not; at least not until we have some medical intervention to reduce the damage it is doing in humans.  Not only are cases increasing, but so are hospitalizations and deaths. These don’t happen in tandem with each other, but with a lag time as the disease progresses.  Denial, and the choices connected with it, are not leading us back to what we have known but towards more uncertainty, more despair and more abnormality

Instead of being angry and lashing out at the times, or pretending there is really nothing to be concerned about, understand that accepting change is the key to establishing a more workable version of “normal”.  Finding a way to conform to what is needed helps to build and institute more stability in and for our future.  Fighting Covid by insisting it is not here or not a deadly risk to others (maybe even yourself, if you are one of the unlucky few) only fans the flames of its power to create more unpredictability, uneasiness, guesswork, confusion and trouble in the worlds we know. Does anyone really want that?

The road to normal will not come back to us until we accept that we are in abnormal times and adjust accordingly.  With this contagion, and until we find viable and safe solutions (and that’s a sizeable if), we only have a few things in the toolbox to restrain and restrict it: masks, hand washing/sanitizer, appropriately distancing ourselves from those not living with us, staying home when sick, staying home in general and when possible, cleaning more effectively and stringently, fighting the urge to ignore the invisible, and reducing our interactions especially those that fuel the acceleration of this virus’s spread. 

Age old wisdom dictates that one of the best paths to a solution starts with accepting that there is a problem.  Let us stop bickering about Covid-19’s existence and threat.  Rather, let us take on the responsibility that each of us can do simple things to reduce its impact on this world.  A better stance for honoring life today is to ask what do you need to change right now to deal more appropriately with the reality of this virus? And then, do it.

“Take heed now that you do not fail to do this.  Why should damage increase to the hurt of [others]?” 

New King James Study Bible, Ezra 4:22 (insert mine).