“I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put on my heart to do for Jerusalem….By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire. Then I moved on toward the Fountain Gate and the King’s Pool, but there was not enough room for my mount to get through; so I went up the valley by night, examining the wall.” Nehemiah 2:11-15
Nehemiah, an Israelite, was a servant for the king of the Medo-Persian empire. At some point in his life, he was either taken to this city or borne in exile. His homeland had long been in shambles and he was far removed from it. The initial destruction and captivity began about 140 years before God brought Nehemiah back to Jerusalem to do what He had laid on his heart. In the verse above, we find him making a quiet examination of the state of the ruined walls of Jerusalem–the primary means of defense for this great city.
For hundreds of years, God had been warning Israel and Judah that their disobedience–though covered superficially with religious routine and ritual–was not the faith He wanted them to have. His words and ways were meant to cleanse out the sin and wrong from their lives, and His law was not meant to facilitate it staying by offering a sacrifice for the wrongs they were choosing to do. Prophet after prophet He sent to warn, extol, teach and lead His people away from things they were ultimately trusting more than Him.
And yet, they didn’t heed the warnings. They often made fun of the prophets, called them crazy. They tortured and taunted His servants, and even killed when the words were more negative and life-changing than they cared to listen to. Being that they remained stubborn in refusing to change their ways and live out His instructions, God took away His protection and sent an invading army in hopes that they would awaken from their complacent and selfish lifestyles and turn back to Him.
It was in the wake of that judgment–the natural consequences that come when we choose to follow our own ways–that the walls of Jerusalem were torn down and the gates to that great city burned. It was some time later that Nehemiah was quietly going along the destruction to assess just how to go about rebuilding those broken-down walls. First, we see him on horse back and eventually, in the greatest parts of disrepair, he has to dismount and go on foot.
What is interesting is that he does this, quietly, on his own. We can tell from the Scripture that he has an idea. He hasn’t shared his thoughts with anyone else. Instead, he trusts God enough to begin evaluating just where those walls needed to be shored up and where they needed to be rebuilt. He doesn’t have an answer and, most likely, not even a plan. Instead of being afraid of the damage, he takes the first step in determining how to fix something–sizing up the scope of the issue at hand. More importantly, he refused to be overwhelmed by the fear that it was too hard to do. Instead, he put his trust in God to help him see and find a way through that which was before him.
And that issue was the status of their walls…
What are walls anyways? Let’s take a deeper look:
Walls
- any of various permanent upright constructions having a length much greater than the thickness and presenting a continuous surface except where pierced by doors, windows, etc…used for shelter or protection or privacy…;
- a rampart raised for defensive purposes;
- …an embankment to prevent flooding;
- …to enclose, shut off, divide, protect, border, enclose, etc…with or as if with a wall;
- to seal or fill. www.dictionary.com/see wall (order of definitions changed; additional available at See Wall.)
There are some key things to note with the definition of a wall. There’s some sort of permanence to it. Walls are generally used to create something that is a refuge or to keep others out. The best walls are upright in construction and are meant to enclose, shut off or divide off from other parts. But a wall doesn’t have to be just of physical construction.
A wall can involve a hedge or a border. It can be done with trees, bushes, fencing, or anything that conveys that one area is distinct from another. Most “walls” are meant to enclose, and to enclose is “to shut or hem in; close on all sides; surround; or to hold or contain.” We can actually hem in an area with curtains. We can border our gardens with rabbit-repelling flowers. We can even keep our dogs in the yard with invisible fencing.
But what about with our emotions? What walls do we have up, and are they in good shape? How do we contain, seal or shut them off when they begin to invade the stability of our world? What defensive measures do we have in place when our more vulnerable feelings are invoked? Have we designed anything to prevent our moods and attitudes from being flooded by emotion that has risen too fast? What walls do we put up and are they really working?
We all put up different kinds of walls to prevent hurt. Some grow incredibly quiet and a steely, cold embankment appears that clearly warns that one should tread carefully in approach. Others become loud and boisterous in an attempt to ward away hurt and harm with a verbally aggressive posture. Some turn to tears and wear their pain visibly to shy away those who might come near, while still others white wash their walls with denial and declarations that all is well. All of those responses are walls of their own sort. Designs meant to protect and shelter the truth that their heart is feeling or doesn’t want to feel.
“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.” Psalm 56:3
When something frightens us, our first reaction is to feel afraid. The question that we must ask is: Are we shutting ourselves into a room that holds only Fear and its friends? When we feel intense emotions, whatever they are, what is our next step? Fear screams, “Trust in me–just me! Close the door, shut up the windows, you are surrounded and should be very afraid.” What do you do in response?
Turn to Trust. Don’t wall yourself in with Fear as that will only lead you to a much worsened state. Don’t be fooled into letting anxiety, worry or fret consume your thoughts as that is really no better than Fear. Instead, hand your thoughts to God trusting that He is in control. From there, even if you have to do so repeatedly, put Trust right where Fear is demanding to be. Then kick Fear to the outside of your four walls. Don’t give it room to grow. Don’t allow it to build a room in your heart or mind. Literally, shut your mind off to venturing down those fearful thoughts. Embrace the mercy and grace God wants to give you when you turn to Him in trust. Seal up with certainty that He is with you, and the Only One who can truly save you in the depths of where your struggles are.
Friends, shore up your faith by confidently believing–just like Nehemiah–that God can lay on your heart the very plans that will help you rebuild those parts of your faith walls that have become weak or been damaged. It begins by trusting Him in taking the first step to assess where your walls might be weak.
“Then I said to them: ‘You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.’ I also told them about the gracious hand of my God on me and what the king had said to me. They replied, ‘Let us start rebuilding.'” Nehemiah 2:17-18
Washing My Windows 