“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.”  Psalm 56:3

While examining the word, comfort, it was interesting to learn that its Latin and Old French roots lie in strengthen and strong.  http://www.dictionary.com/comfort/origin.  Indeed, as when we are in the midst of trouble, we often look around for strong and reliable help.  Much of the time, we need something that will strengthen us where we feel weak, vulnerable or helpless.  For example, when we trip and fall, we automatically reach out for something stable to catch us and aid our balance.  Our body, before our mind fully comprehends that we are falling, looks for something strong enough to re-stabilize and strengthen us in our weakness of balance.

So let’s look at “strengthen”:

1. To make stronger; give strength to.
2. To gain strength; grow stronger.

Its root comes from the Middle English word, “strengthnen”, which directs us towards strength.  http://www.dictionary.com/strengthen/origin.  Digging deeper into that word, we find that strength involves:

1. The quality or state of being strong; bodily or muscular power; vigor.
2. Mental power, force, or vigor.
3. Moral power, firmness, or courage.
4. Power by reason of influence, authority, resources, numbers, etc.
5. Effective force, potency, or cogency, as of inducements or arguments.
6. Power of resisting force, strain, wear, etc…
7. Vigor of action, language, feeling
8. Something or someone that gives ones strength or is a source of power or encouragement; sustenance.
9. Power to rise or remain firm in prices.

Now the origin of strength ties back to the word, strong, so let’s unfold this one step further by looking into those definitions of strong that you might not have thought of:

3. especially able, competent, or powerful in a specific field or respect;
4. of great force, effectiveness, potency, or cogency; compelling;
5. solid or stable; healthy; thriving.
6. well-supplied or rich in something specific;
7. having powerful means to resist attack, assault, or aggression.
8. decisively unyielding, firm or uncompromising;
9. fervent; zealous; thoroughgoing;
10. strenuous or energetic;
11. intense
12. having a high degree of flavor or odor

If we know that trust stems out of comfort and comfort builds off of strength as its foundation, then let us take a slightly different look at Psalm 56:3:

“When I am afraid, I will place my [strength] in You.”  (insertion of strength, mine)

All of us are endowed with strength.  We each have strength-filled attributes that we utilize throughout daily life to effect the direction of our lives and this world.  Some have been gifted with extraordinary intelligence; others with physical strength and vigor.  Still others may be unbelievably effective in comforting another while still others may be strategically adept at winning arguments and formulating successful strategies to overcome difficulties.  Some have great patience, while others display wisdom and discernment as their fortitude.  Strengths come in all shapes and sizes, in all characteristics and temperaments.

With the goal of trusting God more thoroughly and without reservation, your strengths are something you need to take inventory of and become more conscious about when you engage them.  Why?  When faced with something that frightens you, and think on the many friends of afraid (like anxiety, apprehension, nervousness, worried, hesitant, distressed, disheartened, frozen, etc), we have a tendency to turn to our strengths for protection and shoring up. While we have been endowed with them for a purpose, there are many examples in God’s Word when people’s strong suit was actually not an asset to them or God’s kingdom.

Moses was meant to be a leader strong enough to take hundreds of thousands of Israelites out of Egypt’s land and control.  He had miraculously been raised in the Pharaoh’s household and God had granted him the strengths of influence, position, integrity and wealth.  He was well-supplied and educated; he wasn’t a slave like his people had been forced to endure.  He was strong and healthy, but when he used his physical strength to kill an Egyptian, who was abusing one of his people, God spent the next 40 years of his life teaching him to turn to Him first before using his own strength.

King David, one of God’s greatest warriors and a man deemed to be after His own heart, took down a giant with stones and incredibly accuracy, but God would not let him use his strong suits to overcome Israel’s first king, King Saul.  He had won battle after battle for Saul and had amassed a loyal legion of fighting men.  He was strong in moral belief, faith and even could play musical instruments so well that it would soothe Saul when he was upset.  By the very definitions of strength and strong, David embodied most of those traits well.  He was known for his strength throughout the kingdom and the surrounding nations.  But do you know what?  God did not pick him for his strength, but rather for his faith–that despite his youth and his ability, he knew he could overcome whatever threatened him and his flock because God was with him.  It was his heart and faith that God was thrilled with, not his inherent strengths.

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘…The Lord does not look at the things that people look at.  People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.  …So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed [David] in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon David.'”  1 Samuel 16:7, 13

In fact, knowing of their strengths, God instructed David, and many others, not to focus on those powerful resources.  You see, battles are won through Him.  Think I am kidding?  2 Samuel 24 recounts the story of King David being incited to take a census of Israel and Judah to enroll and determine the number of his fighting men.

“David was conscience-stricken after he had counted the fighting men, and he said to the Lord, ‘I have sinned greatly in what I have done.  Now Lord, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant.  I have done a very foolish thing.

Before David got up the next morning, the word of the Lord had come to Gad the prophet, David’s seer.  ‘Go and tell David, “This is what the Lord says: I am giving you three options.  Choose one of them for Me to carry out against you.”‘

…

So the Lord sent a plague on Israel from that morning until the end of the time designated, and seventy thousand of the people from Dan to Beersheba died.”

2 Samuel 24: 10-12, 15

It is no joke to God when we trust more in our strengths than we do in Him.  In David’s kingdom, many paid a painful price for his desire to know and feel the strength of his army…to count what he mistakenly believed amounted to security in numbers rather than God.  Please realize that feeling afraid is one of the sure fire ways that triggers us to turn to what we feel most secure about: the things that consistently give us strength.  Understand that worshiping God above all things means that we need to figure out where and what things might be undercutting our faith and facilitating more trust in something other than God.  Our very own strengths may be inhibiting our ability to trust Him in all things.

While God gave all of us our strengths, the question to ask in building your faith is what do you turn to first when a situation triggers concern and the need for something strong?  Do you seek Him by willingly putting your strengths in His hand for the possible consideration that they might not be the right answer to the situation before you?  Or do you automatically employ them without even questioning, assuming that they are the best way forward?  If that’s the case, you may be relying more on them than God.

Our Savior, God incarnate, the One who healed many, fed thousands from very little–the very One, who raised the dead and controlled the seas in a single command, did not use His heavenly strength to overcome this world and the darkness that was in it.  No, He laid down His power and took up the cross to save us.  He did not turn to nor employ His physical strengths.  In fact, He doesn’t even employ His moral superiority to force us to believe in Him.  Why?  Because trust is founded in “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc…of a person or thing.”  Id./trust.  He wants us to choose to rely on His strengths as He is not usually in the business of strong-arming someone into believing.  He wants genuine faith that truly trusts in Him.

There will surely be times for us to use our strengths, but when we are afraid, we actually need our God more than any power we may have.  Turn to Him first by putting what you know to be your strengths into His hands and allowing Him to show you whether or not to use them.  Don’t let fear entice you to rely on yourself as that’s exactly what it wants you to believe in–that you don’t need God because of your strengths.  And that, my friends, doesn’t build true faith in our living God!

“You armed me with strength for battle; You humbled my adversaries before me.  You made my enemies turn their backs in flight, and I destroyed my foes.”  2 Samuel 22:40-41  (emphasis mine)

“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.”  Psalm 56:3

Have you ever stopped and thought about when you employ trust?  Is it something we constantly do, or is it something that is done when a situation triggers a need for it?  How inherent is it in us to trust and how do we give it out?  These questions are important to consider when assessing who, what, when and whether you are actually trusting in any given moment.

These questions led me into deeper thought and analysis of how and when I trust.  While I already understood that trust varies between situations and the history accumulated in those interactions, I decided to looked more closely at what I was qualifying as trust.  I found that with some that I don’t even pause before trusting them because of the well-established patterns of their prior trustworthy actions.  With others, their inconsistency or limited interactions have left me hesitant to have the confidence or hope that my trust was well placed.  The converse was also important to consider: what established my trustworthiness and what had a tendency to tear it down.

As I reflected on all of this, the next natural inquiry was what was I actually trusting?  What about someone was causing me to place my trust in them?  What was it that they provided me with consistently that led me to trust them, and surprisingly, it seemed like most explanations led back to the idea that their presence, supported by their actions, brought about comfort in or to me.  Looking at the verse, I decided to write it down again, but this time I inserted the word, “comfort”, as the root of trust, into the space that it held in the sentence:

“When I am afraid, I will put my [comfort] in You.” (insertion mine)

Hmmm…after reading it a couple of times and even saying it out loud, the mere construction of that sentence caused me to stop and reconsider just what God might be saying.  Now I have written about the ability of God to comfort us and that is truer than we can comprehend, but this sentence structure suggested that the comfort being spoken was already ours.  Hence, “I will put my comfort in You” implies that there may be comfort that already exists but something about it is misplaced or not truly effective in alleviating our fears or discomfort.

How so?  Whose comfort is it referring to:  my comfort.  Not God’s, but the one that I am somehow holding onto; the ones that I have determined are best for me when faced with situations where fear, hurt or indifference trigger the need for comfort.  However, our determination of what may be best can be, and often is, quite different than what may truly be best.  In reality, we likely seek other things–without even fully grasping that we are doing so–to comfort us long before we allow God to bring us what we really need.

While mulling this over more, the first thing that popped into my mind was how we comfort ourselves with “comfort” food.  Many of us turn to such delicacies in times of struggle or fear.  It can be something homemade, something store bought, something from a bottle or some type of smell or action that brings about a sense of control or pleasure–a release, in a way, from the discomfort we are feeling.

There is a simple and beautiful truth in the idea that food can comfort us.  When we are not feeling good or happy or at peace, the simple pleasure of something sweet, savory or refreshing rolling over our taste buds can very much remind us that good does exist in this trying time of life.  The receptors throughout our body receive a surge of energy and satisfaction despite that life may be so painful and baffling.  It is why people often make and share food with grieving families who have experienced a painful loss. It is why we take food to those battling illness as a sign of support.  Food holds the power to comfort, encourage and support.  Much of our lives are centered around food and its ability to bring joy, love and happiness to our situations.  It becomes even more comforting when it helps us to feel something different that what may be overwhelming our systems.

Let us understand that by unfolding the word trust a little further, we can see that it  derives from the word, comfort.  In deference to the weighty matter of learning better how to fully trust God, we need to slow down and let that concept really sink in by asking ourselves what do we turn to for comfort?  Going further, what if–over the course of our lives–we have found and developed things to bring us “comfort” in difficult times?  Things that we readily turn to: reactions, activities, coping mechanisms, patterns or decisions.  All of these things take root in us, because we have grown comfortable with them through allowing them to comfort us. However, not all of our choices are best nor is every coping mechanism or reaction right.  We must consider also that we have learned how to deploy them quickly.  Directly related to the sense of comfort, we likely “know” what their results will be and may too willingly continue to employ them, even when those results aren’t always positive–just because it feels comfortable.  Thus, these things that have become firmly rooted in our lives also become what we turn to first.  Because of their familiarity and our comfort in them, we don’t even give God a chance to comfort us.  When we don’t allow Him to comfort us with what is best, how can we claim that we are trusting Him?  In fact, we don’t even have to exercise our faith in Him because we have more faith in that with which we have found comforting.

Hence, this might be why this verse–and unfolding it–may want us to turn from our comforts to His…”When I am afraid, I will put my comfort in You.”

When we were little and needed that teddy bear or our blankie, God understood that we were young and needed that extra support.  Most likely we were also more easily trusting of Him, along with the aids He provided us as comfort.  But as we have grown…as our faith continues to develop and stretch…God may be asking us to give up those things. especially those things that we regularly turn to.  The things that we automatically engage to bring us comfort, instead of placing our trust solely in His ability to do just that: comfort. In Hebrews 11:1, it states that “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  The very definition of faith asks us to trust in the intangible with hope and certainty of what we cannot yet touch or behold in those moments where there is nothing concrete to hold onto in this world.  Putting aside our “comforts” might be like taking the training wheels off of our faith and learning how to trust God to provide the right balance of what is needed to truly comfort us.

Understand that comfort food is just that–comforting.  But most definitions of comfort food involve weighty dishes that ooze warmth, tenderness, and tummy filling goodness.  One of my favorite dishes is macaroni and cheese.  All of that warm, flowing cheesy happiness that delights my tongue and taste buds, but you know what?  A couple of things happen when I indulge comfort food.  First, I often overeat it when I have it, and no matter what, as it processes through my system, I quite frequently end up feeling…later…like I have a heavy weight in my stomach.  What had been comforting becomes uncomfortable.  Secondly, too many times the indulgence of comfort food for “comfort” leads to extra pounds or unsettling and painful indigestion.  In these settings, we often hear, “I really shouldn’t!” or “I don’t feel so good!” reminding us that these temporary measures of comfort might not be the best for us.  And why?  Because those negative affects can easily outweigh the momentary “comfort” of those tantalizing bites.

And that reflection led to this thought:  Is it possible that the comforts we have developed and claim to be right for ourselves–in the temporary measures that they are–actually lead us away from God and into cycles of continual return to those fabricated sources of comfort?  May that be why change doesn’t come and wounds don’t heal like we pray they will?  Is that how addiction, overindulgence and dissatisfaction are born in us?  Wanting comfort, too quickly and maybe too easily, even if it comes from our own hands, without patiently waiting on God to provide it in the perfect measure.  Thus, creating comfort by our own design rather than trusting God for His.  Does this explain, in part, why we so frequently return to unhealthy choices and patterns because we are seeking them as our source of comfort rather than truly turning to our God?

If that is the case, then let us pause and take inventory of how and what we see as comfort.  Let us carefully discern what worldly comforts we readily run towards before we even seek out God.  “My comfort” argues they already exist, so let’s find them and understand them better so that we can truly trust Him more for the right kinds of comfort.  Let us turn to Him by purposefully choosing to believe that He knows exactly the best way to bring us comfort in our fear and suffering.  Let us willingly put our comfort in Him.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”  2 Corinthians 1:3-4

” For this reason I tell you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven—for she loved much. But the one who is forgiven little, loves little.”

Luke 7:47. Tree of Life (TLV) Translation of the Bible. Copyright © 2015 by The Messianic Jewish Family Bible Society, sourced from Bible Gateway.com

When I worked on the last post introducing the concept of trust, I was struck by the idea of “comfort” being at its root. On the surface, “trust” seemed to be all about hope, confidence, reliance and care. Comfort, at first glance, didn’t really appear to fit.

However, we can easily see that we are more comfortable when we “trust” someone and less “comfortable” when we don’t. As a gauge, comfort can be defined as something that soothes, reassures or brings relief. Dictionary.com/comfort. Those are good things to consider as we evaluate how much we are trusting something or someone. One can even see how “strengthening aid or assistance” could help in building one’s trust in another. Id.

But how about in the terms of building faith? How does comfort build trust in God when the circumstances at hand are wildly beyond our control and fraught with great uncertainty? So many times we pray for specific answers, and leave little room for what is best. The question “comfort” begs us to ask this: How inherent is it in us to trust God?

Pondering this further, I was taken on a trip down memory lane. It was about nine years ago, on sunny summer afternoon, that a disturbing phone call came. A call that set off a great storm of fear within me. While brief in duration, I was told that during my dad’s endoscope the doctor had discovered a tumor. It was bloody, ulcerated and distinct. Those words alone took my breath away. Pathology was being done, and it would be a few days to a week before they knew what it was. Truth be told, deep down I understood that it was most likely cancer.

For five or six years, I had been walking more strongly with God. He had nudged my heart to start an organization that was about building faith–in ways that encouraged myself and others, those around us and those who were struggling with the trials life so often brings to trust God more. Over those years, we had been approached repeatedly with the hopes that we would say prayers on behalf of someone going through a health crisis. In part, due to those experiences with prayer, I found myself heading to my knees after I hung up the phone.

I knew exactly what I wanted to pray for. As my knees hit the floor, and I fought back tears, I began to pray. But it quickly felt more like wrestling. My prayers–rather I should say my desires and hopes–for my father’s healing felt like they were bouncing off a closed door. “A brick wall” is what I often call that experience. A quietness grew over me for it wasn’t the first time I had come face-to-face with that wall during prayer. I knew all too well what it meant: what I was praying for wasn’t truly needed.

In the past, the wall would usually stop my prayer progression and lead me into a pause that would prompt me to reconsider what I was praying for. In that instance, and because I loved my dad so, I stood up, flustered and stormed off, unwilling to ask that question. The sad thing was I couldn’t trust God at that moment, and my storm of fear didn’t end. It continued to swirl, gaining strength and whipping around a series of what-ifs that truly never came to be.

Later that night, after I put my son to bed, I cried out, “God, what is going on?” I opened to Luke 7:36-50, read it, and promptly slammed it shut. In frustration from the painful and fear driven thoughts inside my heart and head, I declared that it was too much to think about. I didn’t have time to try to understand; for heaven’s sake, I just wanted a simple answer–was my dad going to be alright!?!

The next day, I kept myself in check by focusing on things that needed to be done. I was out pulling weeds when I was again overcome with the need to pray. I dropped to my knees and started to pray for his healing. And again, the brick wall appeared handing my prayers back to me. This time, the wrestling stopped and I surrendered. I told God that I understood that I was not being asked to pray for my dad’s healing. It was so hard to speak those words, but I knew–from experience–that physical healing wasn’t the path that this journey was going to take. I had come across that same hedge, same wall for a few others and knew my prayers were needed for something else.

But I didn’t ask. I just simply said, “Okay, I get it. That’s not what is needed, and it is more of what I desire.” But in the moments that followed, I spoke with a deeper honesty that I had been reluctant to share when I was demanding that he be healed: “God, um, if I have to let go of my dad much earlier in my life than I want and live the remainder without him, I can. I don’t want to, but I know I’ll be okay. What I can’t do–well, really, what I don’t feel like I can do–is spend eternity apart from him. I don’t know where he stands with You and I am afraid. So, please know I can let go of him in this life, but please let it not be so in heaven.”

You see, sometimes with faith, we think we need the “right” answers. The easy ones. The least painful or the ones with the best projected outcome. There was no easy, less painful or stopping of what was coming. God knew that. I knew that when I hit the wall. I didn’t need my answer; what I needed was comfort, and frankly, I didn’t even know that at the time. I was trying to be strong, trying to do right. Trying hard to be positive in the face of a fear that I feared the most: losing someone that I loved dearly and losing someone who loved me dearly.

So after handing God what I feared the most–never seeing my dad in the eternity of His grace–I stood up, dusted off my knees and went back to work. And for the first time, the storm started to ease. Later that night, feeling anxious as evening descended and another day went without answers, I opened His Word again. As only He can direct, it was right back to Luke 7 and the story that spoke about debts owed and what forgiveness of those debts should bring when experienced in this life. Though tired, largely from the mental energy spent on worry, I knew I was supposed to dig into it further.

I laid there reading it all and wondering what was God trying to teach me? As I read it a second time, the words “loves much” jumped right off the page at me, so I asked myself, “Who do I know that loves much in this life?” Instantaneously, my dad popped into my mind. The Scripture stated that those who have loved much have been forgiven much. I thought of just how loving my dad had always been. While he wasn’t perfect, most felt an incredible sense of loving kindness in his presence. With complete strangers, with family and even with those who had done him so much wrong in his life.

And I understood what God was saying to me at that moment. He was answering my fears, despite their storm and my willingness to listen to them more than my willingness to listen to Him as this trial arose. God knew I already understood that life starts and stops. He had already walked me down the road with others who needed a helping hand as their lives were coming to an end. He knew that I knew I would survive without my dad, but He also knew that my greatest fear was not knowing where my dad stood with Him.

My dad didn’t talk about faith very much. To be quite frank, he had spent much of his adulthood politely putting up with those who had altered Jesus into a sword that allowed them to painfully wield judgment on those who didn’t “live” by the ideals that they claimed were needed in order to “know” God. I spent much of my younger years hearing how we were all going to hell because we didn’t go to church regularly (now, that kind of makes me chuckle to think that attendance at a building with a steeple was the best measurement for faith). Those same folks only showed up when it worked for them (which was like never or rarely), or when an emergency arose granting them access to come and try to “save” his and/or our souls. My dad had longed been conditioned not to share his thoughts about God; to not let others in through mere talk. In a way, and rightfully so, he had long learned not to trust their intentions in those matters for they were more self-motivated about saving another soul for their own count than about living and showing the love of God.

What I saw in “loves much” was my dad’s life. His words, though few, had not shallowly displayed his faith nor focused on it, but rather, and as it should be, it was in his walk through life that you could see and feel steady and consistent love. His kindness, his willingness to share, his warmth, his smiles, his laughter, his welcoming embrace were tangibly available to almost all. Love was his response in times of need, and he came to help without begrudging the effort nor demanding for repayment of some sort. There was no debt attached to his willingness to care. As I reflected on God’s words, I could see the compare and contrast. So many of those who spoke so loudly and so harshly about knowing God better than everyone else…they would have looked at my dad and asked Jesus, “How can he possibly be Yours?”

I took comfort in those words of truth that my dad had loved many. I could see from His story the many who would scoff at my dad’s life because his life didn’t contain the “words”, the “ideals”, they thought they should hear. Those same ones were the ones who had failed to see the fruit of his life and the worth of the love that he had for the many that they, themselves, wouldn’t help, visit, care for, or be near. I laid there, in that moment, and started to cry. It was all that I needed to know. He had been forgiven much and the result was that he loved more than most. I understood that God was comforting me in my pain–a pain that was destined to grow. But that comfort grew my capacity to trust Him in, and with, some of the hardest moments of my life that were coming. I understood that those words were a gift that strengthened my soul for the daunting and painful journey ahead.

It was about eight years ago, about 14 months past that revelation, that my dad’s life was drawing to a close. His strength, health and stamina were waning. The truth was coming. Another phone call came, and this time it was a different loved one fighting, in a way, to take control of the situation that was on the horizon. Through intermittent tears and a frantic conveyance of concern, I was implored to sit down with my father and “lead” him to Christ: “Please Michelle, you must have this conversation with him. He’ll listen to you. We need to do this to make sure he gets to heaven.”

My heart wrenched in pain, but not because of the fear that my dad didn’t know God. It was because I knew that soul did not have any comfort for where this was headed; without realizing it, they weren’t trusting God that He was bigger than what they feared. Instead, they were still wrestling with God about whether to trust Him in the face of death. I listened and I tried to console as best as I could, but in the end, I said, “I can’t. That is not our job, and I am not afraid of where he is going.” I shared what God had shown me at the beginning, and gently expressed that I was going to keep my trust, there, in that truth.

And I finished it with this thought–my dad deeply loved us–those who knew him well knew that. He loved us so much that I understood that if I sat down with him and let fear run all over the place, he would politely tell us what he thought we needed to hear to bring us some comfort in that great pain he knew we were experiencing. But that was not, and is not, what faith is about. Understand that we cannot see into the heart of anyone. The mere production of words doesn’t mean the heart has accepted them, nor do the presence of words mean they are really being lived out. What that soul wanted was more for their own peace of mind, and not truly what was best for his. For only God and him could traverse that road of authentic faith in his heart and soul; we couldn’t make that happen for him. As much as we might want to do that for someone, we do not hold that power nor should we.

If our faith is going to be grown, it has to be stretched, challenged, and tried in that growth process. You better believe that will be uncomfortable. It will be painful, frightening at times, and uncontrollable. To expect that we will have confidence, hope, or the ability to rely, right off the bat in a struggle, will ill-prepare us for the answer that will likely be needed. Rather, let us seek first comfort from God IN those moments when we are not sure what to expect, what to pray and hope for, what to be confident about, or what we can rely on. Let us get to the roots of trust when we are struggling. Let us seek God by allowing His comfort in. Remember that comfort can be about cheering up at times, but His comfort came directed right at my fear that I was afraid to face. God brought my fear a soothing balm that eventually led to strengthening me to endure, which developed into the confidence to know where my dad was going (and now is) so that I could fully and faithfully put my hope and trust in the truth that someday I will see him again. Through His comfort, my trust and faith grew in ways I didn’t even know I needed.

In this journey of faith, look for God’s comfort. It won’t always be in the form of the answers you want. So let comfort be a part of the foundation that builds your trust. Allow your faith to develop through the comfort He is trying to bring you in the moments that cause you to fear. They exist more than you may even realize. Comfort comes, often, before we are even ready to receive it!

Build your trust by letting Him comfort you in the way He knows is best.

“He replied, ‘My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s Word and put it into practice.'”

Luke 8:21. NIV Life Application Study Bible, Zondervan, 2011, pg. 1683.

“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.”  Psalm 56:3

Recently we met Will and Put.  They are the decisions and actions that will help us to overcome being afraid.  But when we finally decide to give Will direction and allow Put to go to work, what is it that they are to do?

The next two words in Proverbs 56:3 give us a glorious clue!  First, let’s take a look at the word, “trust”:

1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc…of a person or thing; confidence.

2. confident expectation of something; hope.

4. a person on whom or thing on which one relies: ‘God is my trust.’

7. charge, custody or care.

11. Archaic. reliability.    Dictionary.com/trust

Trust is something that we all claim to do, especially when it comes to describing our faith in God.  That said, how many of us have really taken the time to explore just what “trust” means?  How many of us have attempted to understand better what is truly required to trust something, trust each other or trust God?

According to the definition of “trust”, the word “comfort” is in its roots.  So for us to  understand the foundations of “trust”, we need to explore the definition of “comfort” while keeping in mind that its roots come from “to strengthen” (Id./comfort):

1. to soothe, console or reassure; to bring cheer to.

2. to make physically comfortable.

3. Obsolete. to aid, support or encourage.

4. relief in affliction, consolation, solace.

5. a feeling of relief.

11.  strengthening aid; assistance (Id./comfort).

The definition of “comfort” brings up an important consideration.  What do we “trust” in?  We know from its definition that it involves relying on something or someone.  It can also mean that we display trust when we show or feel a confident expectation in something: hope, as the definition states.  We are also “trusting” when we put something we treasure or value in the charge, care or custody of another.  The act of entrusting indicates that we are relying on someone to care for what we have given them, while also proving that we deem that very agent reliable.

In further consideration, how might comfort be related to trusting?  Well, the easiest way to think about it is in the realm your emotions–where you actually employ “trust”.  Think about it, when you are uncomfortable with someone and their abilities or their reliability, you are not likely trusting them. And while this is not an analysis of whether you should trust a specific someone, it is important to looker deeper into the definitions of “comfort” so you can better discern whether you are feeling any consolation, relief, aid, support, encouragement, solace, or assistance with what or in whom you are claiming to trust?  Is what you are turning to for aid likely to strengthen you?  If so, then you have placed your trust in it.  But, if when you turn to it, it doesn’t result in a deeper sense of comfort or relief, then at the heart of the matter you are not in a state of trust.

Now we learned early on that “fear” has all sorts of friends that aid its presence in your life.  Trust also has friends, so let’s find out who they are as we try to understand better who and what we are trusting:

confidence, certainty, expectation, faith, hope, positiveness, entrustment, duty, guard, ward, safekeeping, depend on, look to, confide in, rely upon, take at face value, assign, confer, delegate, grant, lend, give over   Dictionary.com/thesaurus/trust.

When we are feeling certainty about another person’s follow through and dependability, we are engaging our trust of them.  When we can delegate something to another confident that they will do what is asked of them, we are believing in their commitment and ability to get it done.  When we turn to a friend or loved one to confide in or lean on, we are trusting them with our concerns and needs.  When we trust, we are hoping for a positive experience with who or what we are trusting.  However, we also need to be fully aware of what does not constitute “trust.”  Many times we want to say that we trust something or someone when deep down, we don’t.  Let’s look at the bullies or enemies of “trust”:

disbelief, distrust, doubt, uncertainty, mistrust, irresponsibility, know, abstain, disbelieve, reject, hold, keep, borrow, hinder, obstruct, impede, oppose  Id./thesaurus/trust/antonyms

The value in identifying the actual enemies of trust comes in understanding that those feelings can help us discover when we are not really trusting.   Let’s dig a little deeper by looking at “doubt”: “to be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely; hesitate to believe.” Id./doubt.  But it goes further, “to distrust; to fear; to be apprehensive about.” Id.  All of us have experienced the bullying hands of doubt, but how many of us stop and reflect on what that is really saying about how we feel in that moment?  How many of us examine our apprehension about someone or a situation with an eye on the truth and a willingness to get to the bottom of those anxious feelings?  How quickly do most of us dismiss certain questions that pop in our minds, held back by the fear of offending someone that we want to trust? And quietly honestly, how often do you allow doubt to enter your thoughts about God?

Trust does not require us to condemn all doubt or uncertainty, but rather, it asks us to engage, consider and choose what is required to truly trust when we say we do.  Trust requires our conscious awareness of what is undermining it.  Understand God is not a fan of hypocrisy; He doesn’t like it when we pretend to be something that we really are not.  Why?  Because that level of pretending has a component of deceit in it.  And deceit is falsehood, and in falsehood, you will not find truth.

Truth and trust are close friends.  You cannot trust the truth if it really isn’t true. If you gave something you cared about to another to be in charge of, and then found out that they didn’t care for it as you had asked or hoped…would you be able to so easily “trust” them again?  Most likely not, even if they said they were sorry.  Doubt and uncertainty, mistrust and distrust, would reign in your thoughts and feelings.  Their prior actions, the truth of what they did or did not do, would hinder and oppose your ability to trust.  The truth would prevent you from placing your full trust in their ability, integrity and reliability in such matters because of the truth behind their previous actions or words.  Truth and trust go together, and that is why we must be honest about our feelings and what they are impacting.  Relationships, including ours with God, are hindered when dishonesty and distrust are present.  Not addressing our fears is often what holds us back in relational growth.

“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.”  Psalm 56:3

It is incredibly important to understand that trusting God is exemplified by our willingness to rely on His strength, integrity, ability, etc…especially when we are feeling afraid.  Instead of embracing the feelings that fear stirs up in us, the antidote given in the Scripture is that we willingly turn away from our fears and towards trusting God. Understand that trusting God takes a willing effort to put fear and distrust somewhere far away from the center of your being–far from the very place where God should be.

The word “my” again illustrates that this is in our hands.  We cannot trust someone else’s faith, their experience with God, their claims of His great acts by acting as if those are our very own.  We can be inspired by them, learn from them, and utilize those lessons to grow our faith, but we cannot substitute someone else’s faith for our own.  We cannot ride the coattails of another into heaven.  And why not?  Because God loves each of us so much that He longs for you to trust Him…in all of life, and especially in that which makes you afraid.  He doesn’t want you to be hiding behind someone else’s faith unwilling to engage in or grow your own with Him.

And that is one of the truths behind fear.  Worthless fears do not encourage nor facilitate growth in your relationship with God.  They often keeping you rejecting His calls to walk outside of your comfort zone.  They will fill you full of the feeling that they “know” what will happen next, and hence, you should listen to them and stay where you are.  They obstruct, impede and oppose any progress towards freedom, hope, comfort, and solace that comes from trusting that God knows is best for you and will provide for you in your time of need.

So the next time you say that you are trusting God, take a good deep look at whether you really are?  Check and see if doubt, uncertainty, or a lack of comfortableness are visible in your emotions.  Are you really trusting God for strengthening aid, consolation and comfort, and believing in His ability to soothe and reassure you, or are you just wanting to tell Him your fears and then wallow in them as they build themselves up in your life?  There’s a big difference as one approach grows faith in God and the other grows faith in what you fear.

“Whoever seeks good finds favor, but evil comes to the one who searches for it.” Proverbs 11:27

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.  The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”  Matthew 26:41

The other day a younger soul sought out my advice about one of those moments in life where a crossroad had arisen.  An intersection between the hard thing that was right and the temptation to turn away and disengage from that path because it might require difficult effort.  As I listened carefully to the words being said, I mentioned, “Well, it is understandable to feel a bit afraid.”  The soul looked at me with shock and a bit of indignation proclaiming, “I am not afraid!”  Yet, in the response, I heard an age old truth:  No really likes to admit when they are afraid.

The strong desire to deny feeling fear is exactly why it is essential to understand and explore what we are feeling.  So often we convince ourselves that we are brave, and to be brave we must not feel fear.  But nothing could be further from the truth.  Being brave isn’t about the absence of fear, as that is not humanely possible.

We, by design, are meant to experience fear.  It is hardwired into our brains, to our nerve endings, to our senses, and lastly, but not least, it is one of our emotions.  In fact, feeling fear often serves a very good purpose in protecting us and alerting us to danger.  More importantly, the brave are not immune to fear; they have learned how to stop it from controlling them when it should not be.  The key to overcoming and controlling fear lies in the ability to recognize it for what it is.  It is in understanding that you are afraid that you can gain the strength and power to control it rather than it mastering you.

With this soul, I went on to gently explain that while being afraid can mean that we feel fear directly and intensely, it also has very subtle attributes that we don’t recognize as being “afraid”.  Over the course of our lives, we have learned how to suppress it, ignore it or dismiss it.  Because of those lessons, we often don’t even think about distinguishing the multiple facets of fear and how or why they are truly impacting us.  Things like being “filled with apprehension; feeling regret, unhappiness or the like.” Dictionary.com/afraid.

One of my new favorite identifiers from the definition is “feeling reluctance, unwillingness, distaste or the like.” Id.  Oh, reluctance and unwillingness…how very fitting they were to our conversation.  As I spoke those very words from the definition, that soul looked up and smiled, “Well, I guess I was feeling fear and I didn’t even know it!  ‘Reluctance’ might best describe what was holding me back and I hadn’t even connected that to being afraid.  I see it now.”

Now according to its definition, “afraid” has roots in “disturb and frighten”.  I think it is relatively easy for us to accept and understand when something has really frightened us, but how often do you feel disturbed and never even consider that it might stem from something you fear?  Let’s take a little closer look at the word, disturb:

1. to interrupt the quiet, rest, peace or order of; unsettle.
2. to interfere with; hinder.
3. to interfere with the arrangement, order or harmony of; disarrange.
4. to perplex; trouble.
5. to cause disturbance to someone’s sleep, rest, etc…   Id./”disturb”

You might wonder why it is important to dig down into the roots of afraid?  Because it will literally help us to root out potential fear and its powerful control.  If you can learn to identify that you are feeling afraid, you can trace those feelings back to their roots.  Ask yourself, “Is something hindering me from moving forward with what I need to do or where I know I need to go?”  Are your thoughts or peace being continually interrupted with worry or tension?  Trace it back and see if there is fear at the root.  Are you perplexed or troubled?  Out of sorts?  Disarranged?  Struggling to order things in such a way that there is real and lasting harmony?  Instead of dwelling on those thoughts, dig deeper and find the source of what you are feeling.  Start to face what you fear by trusting God that you can, and that He will see you through it.

When you recognize that feelings of regret, apprehension, unhappiness, reluctance and unwillingness are most likely linked to fear, you can search for what is disturbing your thoughts.  Sometimes we do everything we can to avoid looking at what scares us…what we fear…we wallow in procrastination, hesitation, doubt and dismay.  We are so apprehensive that we cloak our fears through denial such that we don’t even realize the disturbances they are causing us internally or externally.

Think on it this way: let’s say you have an assignment or task to do at work or home that you really don’t want to do.  With procrastination and reluctance in control, you push it off by putting all sorts of other tasks ahead of it.  Often times, you delay focuses on things that are not as important or urgent.  As a result, as your deadline approaches, you find your mind fretting in waves.  Those waves lead to even more wasted time with further distraction that continues to lead you astray.  As time marches on, you grow in cycles between worry and pangs of regret for not starting earlier.  Think about it: those cycles are literally disturbing your thoughts and leading you into relationships with more of afraid’s friends.

Same can become true when someone hurts you.  Much of the time when hurt, we try to act as if we are not.  We don’t respond, afraid to be truthful or vulnerable, and later tell ourselves that “What he or she did or said shouldn’t matter” or “I don’t care!” or “Whatever, I guess.”  A personal favorite is to waste mental energy on what I wished I had said…and I know I am not alone in that vain.  You know, those fictional conversations where in the safety of your own mind you replay the situation and wield those perfect zingers back towards their hurtful comment or action.  Why do we do that when we know they are not there and nothing is being resolved?

Most of us are flat out afraid to honestly confront someone who has hurt us emotionally or verbally (or physically…there’s a long list of ways to harm another).  We ignore, snap back or dismiss, but we generally avoid being too direct, honest or vulnerable about our pain, confusion or fear.  We hold back in apprehension of their reactions and the potential outcomes that might result from being honest about how they have hurt us.  We justify away in our minds and imaginations just how they might react in furtherance of being unwilling or reluctant to deal with them honestly.

Too often, we let the fact that we cannot control the outcomes of being honest fuel the fear that prevents us from acting in a way that might have a better chance of mending or stopping future harm.  We embrace the truth that we cannot change anyone by misusing it to prevent us from having to change ourselves or our situation.  Trust me, friends, the “right” path doesn’t automatically mean that we move towards reconciliation.  All those thoughts are fearful thoughts, and quite frankly, disturbances of our mental peace and space.  Not only do they interfere with quietness in our minds, these thoughts do not bring about relational repair nor do they protect us from future damage.  Rather, they continue to disturb and grow our fear, our unwillingness, and our unhappiness all the while keeping us hostage to that original hurt.

So the next time you find yourself feeling any of the definition or synonyms of afraid, pause.  Go deeper and see how tight a hold your fear has on you.  Once you find it, examine why you are feeling feeling afraid and whether it truly deserves the weight you are giving it?  If it doesn’t, and it likely won’t, refuse to let it control your life, thoughts, reactions or direction any longer.

“When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought me joy.”  Psalm 94:19

“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.” Psalm 56:3

We have been talking quite a bit about fear and its friends, and while there is more to explore with that, there is a crucial second part to Psalm 56:3 that we need to consider: “…I will put my trust in You.”  It is the very antidote to the fear that often controls us, and it is the best possible solution to overcoming the feelings of afraid and its many friends.

Remember, we identified several of the different feelings that stem from our fears.  Things like regret, unwillingness, reluctance, and unhappiness.  In my life, I had only associated it with apprehension or being scared.  So the question becomes what do you do when you are feeling any of those things?

Let’s look at the definition of will:

Will = 1.  Am about or going to; 2.  Am disposed or willing to;   3.  Am expected or required to; 5.  Am determined or sure to;  7.  Am habitually disposed or  inclined to; 8. Am capable of.   Dictionary.com/will

In this context, to be “willing”, you have to purposefully and determinedly choose God over the feelings of fear that may be taking all of your focus and energy.  To be determined means “resolute; staunch; decided; settled; resolved.” Id./determined.  Inclined means to be “2. disposed; of a mind…tending in a direction that makes an angle with anything else.” Id./inclined.  You will have to wrangle your feelings to get your trust of God back to your center; requiring yourself to choose Him to guide the direction of your thoughts.  If you notice in the initial definition of “will”, you will see “am” before every verb.  Who is that referring to?

You and me.  “I will put my trust in You.” (Psalm 56:3, emphasis mine).  It is your choice; each person’s choice when they are afraid.  God will not force us to choose Him.  He will not make us trust Him if we are unwilling, and He will not relieve our fears unless we trust Him over them.  It is in the exercising of our faith that we are given the power to freely choose, and it is what builds a more pure and steadfast faith in God.

So, okay, you need to be willing.  Let’s say you have decided to be determinedly willing to trust Him.  What’s next?

Put.  Yep, think of Will and Put as to two things that work together to build faith.  Will and Put.  Consider them as close friends of yours.  While they are meant to be the part of your life that helps you, they truly need your conscious awareness of what they are doing.  Understand that they are action words and have really important jobs to do.  So, when left to their own devises they will build faith in anything…it just might not be faith in God.

You see, Will needs constant instruction.  He is full of choices and knows they need to be made.  He tends to listen to that which is most assertive.  And think about it, aren’t your fears normally loud?  Aren’t your cravings incessant?  There’s often so much noise in the world clamoring for attention and decisions that without the proper consideration, self-control and restraint, your “will” gets misled.  Poor thing, it has a job that it knows needs to be done, but when we are unwilling to guide or control it, we are leaving Will open to influence of other not-so-good things.

Stop and ponder whether you’ve ever let a fear put you in the backseat while it drives around in your mind, or worse yet, your life because you make decisions based on it?  Will is just glad to have something in control, and though you might be afraid of what you fear, that fear is all too willing to navigate you down roads and scenarios that are totally unnecessary to your mental, physical or spiritual well-being.

Now Put, let’s look at that friend of ours:

Put = “1. to move or place (anything) so as to get it into or out of a specific location or position; 2. to bring into some relation, state; 3. to place in the charge or power of a person, institution, etc.; 4. to subject to the endurance or suffering of something; 22. to shoot out and grow.”  Id./put

Let us remember that when we are afraid, it is best to give our trust back over to God by actively putting Him back in and at the center of our thoughts and hearts.  Let’s unfold that further, the definition of “put” states “to move or place (anything) so as to get it into or out of a specific location or position.”  Id./put.  That means, we literally have to move the associated feelings of being afraid to somewhere other than the mainstream of our thoughts.  Further, the definition implies that we will, most likely, have to replace it with something.  That makes sense because an empty spot of worry, not filled with the correct focus, will likely lead to more fretting.  A new opening for something quite frequently gets filled with something else if not properly managed.

So to understand Put a little better, think of her as a mover.  She operates with the job of helping Will move out of place, or into place, things that can help bring around what Will is trying to do with his instructions.  When Will needs strength to endure, Put moves strength into the right places so that Will can make the decision to endure further.  When Will is guided by fear in decision making, rather than being given a determined choice to trust in God, Put moves into place all the feelings that aid fear in being at the center of your attention.  With no ill intention, Put just facilitates and enlarges the spaces needed to house whatever is controlling or directing Will.  When Will is saying fear is at the helm, Put may deplete the rest of your strength trying to make room for fear’s growth.

In this verse, God gives us an amazing gift.  The understanding that Will and Put are truly managed by us and our choices.  “I will put…” brings it all back to you and I.  We are capable.  We truly do have it in us to overcome our fears, and their sources, when God is at our center.

Think about that.  Are you willing to move the feelings of fear out of your mind and, by whatever means necessary, determinedly put God back in at your center?  Will you take appropriate measures to become disposed to habitually choosing God over fear?  Are you willing to trust that you are fully capable of directing Will and Put?  Will you choose to live a life determined to trust God no matter what fear makes you feel?  Will you put fear where it belongs…in the periphery of your life and not at your center?

God knows you can.  He gave you Will and Put to help you do just that.

“‘Hear Me, My people, and I will warn you–if you would only listen to Me, Israel!  You shall have no foreign god among you; you shall not worship any god other than Me.  I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt.  Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.'”  Psalm 81:8-10

“Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.”  Jonah 2:8

You might wonder why I write frequently about fear?

It is not a hobby of mine, nor do I particularly like fear.  In fact, I abhor horror movies and dislike frightening novels.  I much prefer laughter and happiness as oppose to suspense, discomfort and angst.

While I have been described by others as confident and brave, strong and fearless, to be quite honest, that is not how I see or think of myself.  Though those attributes are incredibly kind and sometimes true, it seems that I have accumulated quite a few friends of fear on the windows that I view life from, and with God’s nudging, I have been working on washing those windows clean.  I have found, while on this journey of renewal and restoration, that I am not alone as many people’s windows also appear to have some dusty layer of fear on them that hampers how they, too, see life.

It was years ago, while feeling a lot of uncertainty, that God took me to Jonah 2:8.  I was hoping for something to comfort me, and being told that I was clinging to something other than God was not at all what I had expected to see.  You see, long ago, He taught me that His truth doesn’t always match up with our desires.  I wanted to be comforted but what I really needed was to realize what was causing my discomfort.  So being that it had struck a nerve in me, I went off on a search to understand this verse better.  What did it mean and how did it apply to my life?  What was I clinging to that was causing me to forfeit the grace that was intended for that very moment in my life?

Low and behold, He was right!  As I dug through the etymology of the word “idol” (and this was easily 10 years ago), I was led through its history and into synonyms that were related to it.  There sat “fears” and “passions”.  I remember being a bit dumbfounded.  If I took out the word, “idol”, that I was struggling with, and inserted the words, “fears” or “passions”, that verse became even more applicable to my life.

“Those who cling to worthless [fears (or passions)] forfeit the grace that could be theirs.”  Jonah 2:8 (alterations are mine)

Wow, imagine that!  It truly made even more sense in my daily life.  The things I had long been fearing were running the show with my thoughts, decisions and sometimes, even my actions.  My very reactions, which could be filled with passion, were often in response to fear, and not necessarily what God had wanted for me.  I knew it was His way of telling me that I needed to better evaluate how my fears, and please understand this–worthless fears, were controlling me.

As soon as I read that verse with fear inserted in, I understood exactly why God had taken me to Jonah 2:8.  Right before I had sought His Word out, I had been busy building up my fears to near crescendo level; in essence, creating a self-induced swirling storm of fear.  Surrounded, I sought Him out in the refuge of His Word, and found that this storm was the direct result of me clinging to my fears more than I was to Him.  God was right to point out and ask, which one was I most willing to follow?  In my heart, I knew that I wanted to (and still want) to follow Him and fear no longer.  And that began this journey towards understanding fear, how our minds and bodies are created to experience and deal with it, the emotions tied to it, the responses we can choose, the trust and faith in God that we need to develop, discipline and grow.  All of that is coupled with the idea of learning better how God wants us to handle this gift He has given us in being able to feel, think, decide and react to the events that grace our lives.

Ever since those moments with Jonah 2:8, as I explored it more and learned more about how we are designed, I have repeatedly seen how good of a job we all do in hiding our fears.  I am not alone in placing worthless fears above our God.  We pack them away.  We deny them.  We point to them and identify that they exist, but never overcome them.  We blame others and accuse them of what we fear.  We dress up our fears with other pretty words that disguise them and make it seem like we have no problem with fear.  We dismiss those who point it out to us calling them crazy or unkind because they have ventured to close to the walls that the fear has built to keep us trapped inside with it. We cling to these things as if truth resides with them even when, in all honesty, the likelihood of what we fear is slim to none.

Some of us spend our entire lifetimes avoiding what we fear, at practically any cost, and in the long run end up dealing with fear more than God ever intended.  It is here that I often find myself with another soul…helping them gently unpack their fear when they are willing.  God bringing what is needed to help them break free of what has chained them.  I wish I could say that I run across misplaced or misused fear infrequently, but then that would not have inspired me to write.  Rather I run across it weekly, if not daily, in the lives of others…as well as in my own.

A large part of my life is now devoted to helping others build and grow their faith in God, and with that, I have been blessed to speak with a lot of souls for a variety of reasons.  I see fear being mislabeled and misplaced into the lives of so many, especially our youth.  They are told to suck it up, let it go, put it away and pretend for the sake of others that they have no pain, hurt or sadness in their lives that could stem from or cause fear.  They become afraid that sharing those vulnerable feelings will lead to anger, judgment and condemnation out of those who don’t want to take the time to listen or worse yet, be responsible for the harm they have done to another.  It is the age-old pattern of conditioning another to not respond to the pain inflicted, so that the wrongdoer doesn’t have to change their behavior because they do not want to see or hear or understand the consequences and problems they are causing in the first place.  Deceit and deception using fear to hide the wrong and allow it to continue in perpetuity.

Many are conditioned to pretend everything is good or great or fine, but understand, by God’s standards, He doesn’t like pretension as it leads to dishonesty, hypocrisy, superficial relationships, and deeper scars.  They are taught to bottle it up when they should really be learning how to fall apart and then pick up the pieces in the safety of loving support and acceptance of God and those that are His.  They learn to lie to protect others from feelings that they should be able to share rather than being taught and learning how to better manage those emotions.  Think about it–teens are designed to feel emotions exponentially with the flood of hormones that are timed by nature, not their parents or society!!

And most of the time, it is adults demanding that teens (and others) rid themselves of the very emotions God ordained each of us to feel.  Why?  Because just as many adults do not know how to deal with their emotions or the emotions of others, except to respond by either becoming mad or indifferent or pretending that emotions are not necessary in this world.  In a way, deep-rooted fear of emotions begetting more fear in this world, rather than love teaching gentleness, perseverance, self-control, truth and hope.

I stood in the presence of a young teen after hearing from a loved one the very difficult circumstances that they were in.  Being that it was the first time I met this child, I gently asked, “How are you doing with all of this?”  With the strongest face and those eyes that spoke of not being able to trust that I could handle hearing what was deeper inside, the teen said, “Oh, I am fine!  I am good.”  I looked at that child in the eyes and said, “Really?  Let me help you with a lesson that you really need to learn young in life.  I know you need to be strong, but it will serve you much better to be honest about how you are feeling in situations like this.  You are very young to have to be dealing with such painful and difficult circumstances, and it is okay to say you are not okay.”  The child looked surprised as I spoke of the legitimacy of being afraid, angry, frightened, unsure, and unhappy in that situation.  Before too long, the shoulders had dropped as well as the act of being “tough”.  A small break through and victory for God in the heart of a soul who had been long conditioned and demanded on to be “good” and not “upsetting” to others despite the truth of what had been going on.

Fast forward to weeks from there, and that child called sobbing about the next chapter of their life.  Legitimate fear and uncertainty were gripping the next steps in a way that no child should have to endure.  My first words were “I am so glad to hear you crying. It is good for you to let this out, and I want you to continue.  Let us work on taking some deep breathes to help your body out right now, and remember, this scary thing is just for right now.  In six months or a year, this will likely just be an unpleasant and painful memory with you in a better place by then.”

Why do I share these things with you?  Because learning how to face what we fear isn’t something most of us have been taught.  I come across as many adults who struggle to be honest with themselves about their past hurts or their present pains, and as a result, they live in the constant company of cloaked fear.  I have been visiting with an older gal for the last couple of years.  I go to see her regularly and our friendship has grown.  I met her through the organization I started years ago, Families Building Faith, and it was just recently as I sat in her living room that I watched her jump up from her chair to get our newsletter.  She said, “Michelle, oh my gosh, you have to write.  You need to write!  I didn’t even realize my fears until I read the list of synonyms in the newsletter!  As I looked at each word, I saw my life–my whole life–and how fear has always been a part of it.  I never even realized the hold it had on me until I read those words!”

“Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.”  Jonah 2:8 (NIV)

Friends, it is a powerful thought to consider that our worthless fears actually cause us to forfeit God’s love and grace in our lives to the space, time and effort that we spend on those fears.  While God designed us to feel and experience fear, He never intended for us to cling to it; let alone to fears that are worthless!  He doesn’t want fear (nor its friends) to restrain, confine, prevent, enslave or rule over our lives, decisions, impact or faith.  You see, when we trust what we fear more than our God who is calling us out of it, we are indeed worshiping something other than Him.

Let us review again the synonyms of afraid (this is just some of them) knowing that they might help us identify when and how we may be clinging (drawing closer) to something we fear:

Anxious, apprehensive, frightened, nervous, scared, shocked, suspicious, timid, aghast, alarmed, aroused, cowardly, daunted, discouraged, disheartened, dismayed, distressed, disturbed, fainthearted, frozen, in awe, perplexed, intimidated, panic-stricken, perturbed, rattled, spooked, startled, stunned, trembling, upset, worried, sorry, loath, hesitant, backward, uneager…  Dictionary.com/afraid/synonyms

And now let us consider the antonyms of afraid to understand better what it feels like to not be controlled by fear:

Brave, calm, happy, unafraid, unworried, bold, composed, confident, cool, eager, fearless, heroic, undaunted, valiant, ready… Id./afraid/antonyms.

What areas in your life do you experience more of the synonyms of afraid, and where in your life do you experience more peace as exemplified by the antonyms of afraid?  Trace those roots to see how fear might be bumping God out of the rightful place in your life.  Be inspired by where in your life fear has no foothold.

Ask Him, with your whole heart and full willingness, and He will take you on the journey of uprooting your worthless fears so that you may give Him the proper place in your heart, soul, mind and strength.  Trust Him, God longs for you to stop forfeiting what He has always wished (and long planned) for you to receive when you trust Him over your fears.  Remember that Israel ended up wandering through the desert for 40 years longer than God ever intended because they believed their fears over His instruction to enter when they arrived at the promised land…embracing worthless fears leads to forfeited grace for each of us when we choose them over God.

“In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me.”  Jonah 2:2

“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.”  Psalm 56:3

I was driving the other day and thinking about some news that had taken me by surprise.  About halfway home, I found myself saying out loud, “God, I am afraid!”  It’s not the first time in my life that I have felt fear.  In fact, quite some time ago, God taught me that when we constantly think on or become consumed by our fears (or passions), we are actually forfeiting something better that God had intended for our lives at that very moment.

Once home, I just couldn’t shake the truth that had come from my lips.  For me, I take great comfort from being in God’s Word.  It is where I go when the world feels like it is spinning a bit too fast.  As I finished unloading the car, I grabbed my Bible and came across my new journal.  There, right on the cover, sat Psalm 56:3 in beautiful lettering:  “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.”  How about that!?!  Right there, in large words, was exactly what I needed to see.  It was being afraid that I was truly grappling with.  So with pen, journal, Bible and phone in hand (my instant dictionary), I sat down to explore this verse some more. It’s almost always a good bet to start with the word that is sticking out to you.

“Afraid” is “feeling fear; filled with apprehension; feeling regret, unhappiness or the like; feeling reluctance, unwillingness, distaste, or the like.”  Dictionary.com/afraid.

Synonyms (just some of them): “anxious, nervous, shocked, suspicious, alarmed, aroused, discouraged, disheartened, dismayed, frozen, in awe, intimidated, spooked, perplexed, stunned, upset, worried, sorry, hesitant, backward, uneager…”  Id.

What also struck me about Psalm 56:3 was the active words that required both my awareness and my effort in response to the feeling of fear.  In this verse, the psalmist highlighted our need to both acknowledge and understand what we are feeling.  But why?  Because by understanding when we are afraid (and all the components of its definition…like regret or unwillingness…who knew those were indicators of fear?), we can implement the next step of Scripture to settle and calm ourselves.  To return our internal thoughts to a state where fear–and its friends: regret, unhappiness, reluctance, unwillingness–do not control our time, decisions or worlds.  A state where we are not running down roads of infinite worse-case scenarios that God never intended for us to venture.  You know, the ones that are unlikely to happen anyway.  So what do we do to take better control over what we are feeling?

“…I will put my trust in You.” (Psalm 56:3, emphasis mine).  Ah, part of the problem lies in recognizing when you are focused on God and when you are not.  When we take the time to acknowledge our feelings, then we can–and its our responsibility deemed from the words “will” and “put”–actively seek to turn our trust back to God rather than staying captive to one of the many synonyms of “afraid”.  When we allow our fear, or feelings of fear, to take over us, we are setting that which is making us afraid above God.  We are not trusting Him with each of our moments that He already knows we are going through.

Each of us, every one of us, will have moments where fear is a part of our lives; let us pray for each other that we will choose to trust more in God.  It is one of the strongest themes you will find, cover to cover in your Bible, and it is well worth living out.

“‘Do not be afraid, you who are highly esteemed,’ he said. ‘Peace!  Be strong now; be strong.'”  Daniel 10:18-19