I love the fish and the loaves story in the Bible.  Many times, over the years, I have found God easing my concerns during an outreach with these very verses.  As fantastical as it sounds that He could feed 5,000 with a couple loaves of bread and a few fish, I have personally watched Him bring enough supplies each Easter season to generate more beautiful Easter baskets than I could have ever imagined!  It is truly mind boggling that thousands of baskets have been going out each Easter for the last several years…meaning thousands of lives have been touched by His love and provision.

You see, Jesus did indeed feed five thousand.  Enough was generated that evening that even though bellies were full, there were still 12 baskets of left-over pieces of bread! The people, many who had been following Him, were so overwhelmed by the miracle that they proclaimed Him to be the Prophet that Moses had spoken of in the days of old.  They were so excited that they even wanted to make Him king, but right before they were able, Jesus departed to a mountainside to be alone.  His disciples, in turn, got into a boat and began sailing across the sea to a town called Capernaum.  That very night, on the sea, the disciples witnessed another miracle:  Jesus walking on water to the boat.  Once He was in the boat, before the disciples realized it, the boat had arrived on the shore.

The following day, the crowds of people awakened to find that Jesus was no longer with them.  Discerning that He must have left by boat, they, too, headed for Capernaum in search of Him.  It was His response when they found Him that caused me to pause and dig deeper into this Scripture…

‘Most assuredly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled.'”  John 6:26

Now, to me, it seemed like an odd response from our Savior.  This group of people had sought Him out; they had journeyed quite a distance to find Him.  Honestly, His response to them should cause all of us to pause. Many often mistake looking for Him as following Him. As long as you are looking and see Him, that is what is important, right?  But Jesus’ words stop that reasoning dead in its tracks.  It is not mere association–mere identification of and to Him–that produces real faith.

Interestingly, most of my life, I have been surrounded by some who have claimed to follow Christ.  I can remember from a young age, their animation, their faces, their vehement tones that rose over the other voices, the tendency for discussions to lead to arguments with others.  I would hear His name used over and over again, often in a fierce or demanding ways that didn’t feel very kind.  I can still see the tenseness on shoulders when they entered a room and the look upon the faces of those who seemingly became trapped with no way to escape the path their conversations always took.

As I got older, a certain dread fell upon family encounters when we were no longer able to fade away to the outdoors to play.  Becoming a teenager and young adult emboldened them to preach, instruct, and condemn with urgency all that you were and all that you might become. Their words always seemed to assume how far you were from God, even though they knew so very little about you.  Maybe because they hardly knew anything about you. My heart, memory and mind still carry the wounds of the sword they supposedly wielded for His name.

And so, on my journey to faith–far from their influence and input–when I came close to giving Jesus my life, I wrestled with Him about them, their words, and most vividly, their actions and in-actions.  I pointed to their cruelty, to their harmful words, to their condemning judgment, their indifference to their actions, and their lack of effort at having real relationships.  Their boisterous “Christian” behaviors and words seemed to be a strong disparity to Who God was and what His word asked of those who were His.

It was then that He gently led before me the quiet lives of many who had lived His way without all of that loudness and misuse of His name.  People who rarely made mention of their faith by words, but rather by actions.  There was no sword in their mouth, and I saw that their gentleness and kindness often went quietly unnoticed among the hoopla created by those loudly proclaiming their own brand of holiness.

I found that their way wasn’t really ever about Him; it was about them.  About gaining more from using Him, His name and their self-perceived sense of empowerment and entitlement. Along the way, I’ve been continually reminded of how powerful grace, gentleness, quietness, kindness, steadfastness, patience, hope and encouragement can be when dealing in matters of faith. A contrast of sorts to what I had heard.  The hurts and wounds that they caused back then, ironically, now highlight to me paths I try hard not to tread…

Paths that He distinguished for me early on.  Paths, we will see that He tried to distinguish for those arriving by boat seeking Him out…

You see, these folks who sought out Jesus, in Capernaum, didn’t arrive on bended knee, deeply humbled by the miracle He had performed.  They did not come to thank Him and praise Him as the One to follow. There was no rejoicing in finding Him again.  Nor had they been content in their previous encounter with Him. They never saw the King of all of creation in the pieces of bread that His disciples handed to them.  There was no singing or proclaiming that God in heaven had come down to this earth, by His right arm, to save them from a life that was perishing.  Nope, instead, they came to Capernaum because of what He had given them.  More importantly, because they now understood He could give them more…

Remember a king was what they wanted to make of Him. They did not understand that He was already the King of this world…and the universe…and all of creation. Rather, they wanted Him to be king of their needs and wants. How interesting it is that we often want to have leaders over us that can give us things to make our lives easier. This is nothing new to our current time.  And clearly, based on His words, their minds and stomachs were focused on what He could provide.  But before we become the judge and jury of this crowd, let us ask ourselves a few questions:

How many times do we somehow distort or manipulate our faith to be about what we can or should get from God?  Or, worse yet, use it to gain something from or over another?

How often does our prayer life become a list of things we need, want or no longer want to deal with?  Further, how often do we only turn to prayer when there is something urgent, pressing or needed?

How often do we fail to trust Him with the impossible, and then see Him answer in a way that defeats the impossible, only to want to be amazed again?  How often do we miss seeing the “I-am-not-worthy-of-Your-steadfast-love” (humility) realization for the holiness and majesty of the One and Only God moving in our everyday lives?

How many times are we saturated and full from His provision, and yet seek Him out only when we become hungry once more?

‘Most assuredly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled.'”  John 6:26

Understand that they were not there to worship God. They did not know Who Jesus truly was. They didn’t realize the loaves and the fish were a sign, and not just a provision. They didn’t understand what it meant, nor did they seek to. They only knew and understood that He could do amazing things for them.

And our God, in His infinite grace, stopped and challenged them to think on why they were seeking Him. He didn’t just let them continue on in their empty, self-centered faith; instead, He sought to correct them. The signs were not there to make their lives easier. Neither are His signs here today to fill us up with a temporary amazement that quickly fades away. His signs are designed to show us Who He really is.  They are like stars that point the way to a closer, deeper understanding of Him.

Faith isn’t about using God to our advantage and ease. It is not about power, gain and superiority over others. Instead, God wants for us to be following Him for the right reasons and with the right motivations.

Might the best reason start with a deep and humble understanding that He is God? That His provision is more about building genuine faith in Him than just meeting our needs and wants as we experience them. Could it be that He wants our hearts motivated to follow Him out of an abundance of love, reverence and awe for Who He is, and not just what He can provide or do for us?

Truly seeking Him for a life lived to the fullest measure of His design is an entirely different path from using Him to be filled up during this life…

“You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.”  John 5:39-40