Monthly Archives: December 2012

Was He there?

Posted on by
3

“Where can I go from Your Spirit?  Where can I flee from Your Presence?  If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, ‘Surely darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to You, for darkness is as light to You.

…

All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”  Psalm 139: 7-12, 16

Standing in my driveway talking with a gentleman who ministers to souls locked away from where society can see them, a question arose.  It was the Tuesday after the mass shooting in Connecticut.  The tragedy had captured all that I know in the difficult quandary of how…how could something so horrific happen?

The question being, “Where was God in this picture?”

That was what these young men and women had been asking him.  It was what I heard from youth struggling to understand and feel safe.  The challenge of “If you say God is real, then where was He that morning?  Why didn’t He stop it?”

My heart felt for him because sometimes in this line of work…when things go wrong, really wrong, you are asked why?  For me, I have often found that honest answers of “I don’t know the reason for that” work better than anything else.  More times than not, people can respect honest humility over the trappings of religious theory.

But all night long the question plagued me…

I had seen it on the face of my son.  I saw it in the heart of my mother.  It was on the faces of the staff and students at an elementary school…the underlying confusion, pain and concern.  While at an outreach, I had heard it in the words of those who humbly asked that Connecticut and those families be prayed for instead of them despite their dire situations.

Sadly I had heard it said from those on both sides of the spectrum. Those who don’t believe…well, this proves there is no God.  And from those too eager for God’s judgment…that He was not present because of our “sin”.  Really?  That is the best both sides can do?  It is just the same old, same old.  Denial and condemnation, evil’s two greatest tools.

Honestly, how we love to trivialize God when we have no answers…when we see the unexplainable and cannot humble ourselves to trust that we truly don’t know it all, let alone the whys.  While there was so much bad and so much pain, can we not find any good in this situation?  That is what we choose when we say He doesn’t exist.  And for those who believe in God but say that He wasn’t present because of the sins of our nation–the last time I checked, He died on the cross for us despite our sins being present.  Sin doesn’t stop Him from being present; it is why He came.

But what really bothered me the most was that I could clearly see Him there…

I saw Him moving ahead of this crisis, when the principal hired in two years ago and placed a top-notch security system in place at the school to protect the children.  Those measures slowed the shooter down, alerted the police, and silenced the issue could they have done more.  Those measures alone, that wisdom and inspiration, probably saved many more lives than we will ever know…

I saw Him in the hallway as the principal and school psychologist, with an almost supernatural amount of courage and bravery, left the shelter of their meeting room and  threw themselves at a shooter armed with a rifle that would unquestioningly kill them.  It was there that I believe God met their hearts to give them an undeniable amount of strength to face death so willingly despite understanding that doing so would mean leaving their loved ones behind…

I saw Him in the office inspiring someone to turn on the intercom so that others would know the danger that was headed their way, so that children would know their silence and obedience to their teacher’s instructions would save lives…

I saw Him giving courage and speed to the janitor who ran through the hallways alerting others that there was a shooter in the building, putting himself or herself at risk being in the open instead of vacating and hiding.  The path was being paved to bring this choice of harm to an end…

I saw Him in the wisdom, grace, and selflessness of several teachers who did all they could to protect the little ones He had graced their lives with. Granting them quick thinking, discernment and bravery to stay calm enough to hide them well…especially the heart and hands of the teacher who stood up bravely to the shooter telling him that her children were in the gym to divert him away from the classroom…there 20 lives or more were saved in those words, those cupboards and closets–in that wisdom…

I heard Him in the whispers of a teacher who cupped each child’s face in her hands and told them how much she loved them because that was the last thing she was afraid they would hear.  Oh, how the bells of heaven must have rung that someone in such a horrifying situation would listen and know to speak of love at that very moment…

I saw Him in the bravery of the first responders who came in numbers willing to give their lives to end the madness, to save those who were wounded, to hold those who had or were departing, to comfort those scared beyond measure, to do all that they could despite the tragedy, pain and trauma that laid in front of them…

I saw Him in the responses of schools and hospitals as they did all they could do to protect those in their care…frightened but continuing the work in front of them with grace, discernment, and focus…

I saw Him in the face of Sandy Hook’s funeral director in his desire to confirm what God wanted each of these families to know…their loved one was special…to this world and to Him…

I saw Him in the kindness of a reporter who gave the friends of the shooter’s mother the chance to speak of her.  To do so without quick judgment and condemnation, allowing us to see something other than our fear and all-too-easy answers…

I saw Him in the words and the faith of a father who had lost his little girl…when he told the family of the shooter how his heart had broken for them too…showing us all compassion, forgiveness and a humility that rose above the clamor to hate and condemn…

I saw Him in horror of a nation that has fallen on its knees in pain and agony wanting so desperately to comfort those that lost so much that day…

I see it in all the hearts that are rending at this tragedy, who are turning to prayer, and seeking Him for understanding instead of turning away from Him…

You see…life always comes back to a choice.  It began in the garden with a tree and His instruction, but what many miss is that forbidden fruit also came the ability to choose.  And…almost always, our choices impact others…

Some for the good and some for the bad.  And though God designed us with that capability of choosing, that tremendous power to act for the good or for the bad, that choice–our choices and the choice of that shooter–doesn’t mean He is not present.

Always He is.

His Name means “I am”.  “I am” means present.  It is the verb that means current, at this time, in the here and now.  He is always here.

And it is there that the hardest question lies…what about those 20 children?  Those young souls that had to face the unthinkable, the unbearable, and the horror of it all.  What about them?

To me, that is where the toughest part of faith lies…for it is the unknowable.  Where, at first glance, horror, pain, and grief seem to reign.  It holds the power to make every person, parent and child fear.  It snatches and grabs at our peace, even our faith, causing us to doubt and question…was He present in such agonizing craziness?

But…if we are willing, can we see Him there also?  Can we find it in ourselves to believe and trust that He was right there with them.  Comforting them, calming their fear and anxiety, holding them fast in His right hand and leading them home…

Is it our vision skewed by fear and tragedy that has blurred the understanding that God is always present and always in control?  No matter how hard that shooter tried he could not separate those children from the loving arms of God.  He could not trap them in that fear, horror and pain forever…for while he may have been armed to end life, he did not and does not hold the keys to heaven or hell.  Not for those children and not for us…

So let us not give him such power…let us trust God that in that darkest moment, His light shined brighter, His peace filled 26 hearts, and that His love has and will continue to connect them with their loved ones for now and forevermore…

He was present, is present and will always be present in all things.  Choose to trust Him in this moment.  For it is the gift–the choice–He has given each of us…

“Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made.  In Him was life, and that life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.”  John 1:3-5

By faith…a new Christmas program

Posted on by
Reply

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  ~Hebrews 11:1

When I started this blog, I talked about paying attention to the little things that happen often right in front of us.

Easter 2010 culminated with us standing in a kindergarten classroom.  Next to me, lined up by the door was a gal from the Food Bank of Eastern Michigan, my dad, my sister Robin, her husband Leo, and Joann, a regular volunteer of Families Building Faith.  The principal had interrupted the classroom of excited children with a special surprise.  It was the Easter baskets we had made.  One for each of them delivered by the sixth grade students.

As we stood there watching them receive their basket at their desks, a young boy pointed to me and wiggled his finger beckoning me over to his desk.  Bending down, he told me that he was going to give two out of the three stuffed animals in his basket to his younger brothers.  Ever so quickly and confidently, he assigned them the names of Jeremiah and Elijah.  I smiled with a little tug at my heart…those names were from the Bible.

Smiling at him, I asked him his name.   He proudly said “Isaiah.”  I laughed thinking, “Go figure, God would confirm where we are at through this child”…Isaiah and Jeremiah hold special Scriptures that have always been a great comfort to me.  It was also in this instance that I realized we needed to label each child’s basket with their name.  The teacher had told them they couldn’t open them and they were going to move them to a central pile, but I could see that the children were already invested in them…they had seen and touched their basket.  So the teacher graciously allowed us (all of the volunteers) to get down on our knees and write the children’s names on their baskets.

As time has gone by, I haven’t forgotten Isaiah.  This year when we delivered Easter baskets again and I was in a classroom, I saw a young boy cross in front of me.  I thought I recognized him, but wasn’t sure why.  Then I realized that we were standing in the first grade room, last year’s kindergarten class.  I scanned the room for Isaiah.  I walked over to him and said, “Hi Isaiah.  I am not sure you remember me, but I remember you from last year.”  He seemed shy, and I told him that I hoped he had a good rest of the year

Those little moments…remember how I said they are important.  The week before Thanksgiving, I sat at a table with a group of parents from that elementary school.  The principal had invited Families Building Faith to attend their Parent Action Committee meeting in part because they were celebrating with a Thanksgiving meal and she really wanted to thank us for all the different things we have brought their way.

Trying to connect with them, I told them about meeting the kindergarten class for the first time and the story of Isaiah.  The parents said, “Oh, he’s a sweet boy!”  They all seemed to know of him…nodding and shaking their heads.

On the way up to Flint that day, I had thought about our Christmas outreaches through Families Building Faith and had wondered if maybe the school could help us connect with some truly needy families.  As the meeting progressed, the subject of Christmas came up.  This year, the school had to bypass an opportunity to assign their needy families to a local Christmas outreach program because most of their families are unable to drive to pick up the food and toys.  My heart broke when they said they have approximately 125 families in need.  Last year, of the 125, approximately only 15 were able to take advantage of the services due to a lack of transportation.

Well, that answered my question about needy families!!  I sat there thinking, “Yikes, 125!”.  At the end of the meeting, I ventured over to the principal and coordinator.  I had a car full of clothes for the kids that we needed to unload, and then quietly explained our gently used Toy Drive.  I told her that I was embarrassed to ask for only five families…but would they consider helping us connect with five?  They were so gentle, kind and excited…and to them, five adopted is better than none.

We headed out to the car to unload it, and I met with the coordinator about getting the names.  Actually I gave her a list of questions that we need to know about each family.  When I got to my last question, it was about food.  What we have learned is that many, in really tough places, don’t even have ingredients, stoves or the cooking equipment to actually cook.  I asked if they could inquire about that ability so that we could tailor any food contributions to each family’s true needs.  What good is it to give them a raw turkey if they have nowhere to cook it?

She nodded and said they were beginning to realize that some of their families are struggling with that very issue.  She went on to talk about a family she knew that was grappling with cooking.  The family lives in the projects, which are not too far from the school.  The dad loved to cook and always made the meals.  Early one morning this late spring, he stepped out to leave and was gunned down, killed, right on his front steps.  They had four children, four young boys.  The coordinator continued on with how the older two boys had begged their mom to please cook them something, but she had no idea how.

Another volunteer in the room asked how we learned of the school so I shared the story of how the Food Bank of Eastern Michigan had helped us connect.  The parent coordinator, in turn, mentioned that family again as they took part in a video done for the Food Bank, and happened to say one of the little boy’s name…Isaiah.  I stopped her.  Was Isaiah in second grade this year?  “Yes, yes, he is.”  Does he have two younger brothers?  “He does.”  We realized quickly that this Isaiah was the Isaiah I met two years ago.  It was his stepfather who was gunned down this last spring 2012…it was Isaiah and his older brother who had step over that spot each morning in grief and torment to finish school.

I felt my heart tear and an ache develop.  I was once told that such feelings might equate to a “holy discontent”…a fire that won’t let go of your heart driving you towards action versus inaction…to believe that something can be done when many just turn away.  I had known there that God had a reason for why I was asked to go.  A reason that He was nudging me to follow though I had no idea why.  The only thing I knew was that I felt strongly there was something I was supposed to learn.  Never in a million years did I expect it to be about Isaiah…

His mom totally broke down.  Four young children.  No way to cook and not even knowing how.  Living in the dangerous projects and struggling with her own deep grief, she sent Isaiah and his older brother to live with their grandmother in Clio, which is just north of Flint.  All four boys were devastated with the youngest ones not understanding what had happened.  Now not only a father gone, but a family torn apart.  No older brothers to protect them and no younger brothers to care for.

It turns out that a teacher who knew Isaiah was visiting his new school one day when he ran up to her, threw his arms around her and cried out her name.  He hugged her closely much to his current teacher’s surprise.  The next day the principal called.  Isaiah hadn’t spoken since he had arrived.  Trauma, I am sure.  Losing his dad, and eventually his mom and baby brothers whom he cares so much about.  In fact, after his stepfather passed, he had proclaimed that he would the “man” in the house to help take care of them all.  The principal of the new school wanted to know if there was any way the teacher could come back to visit him.  I stood there stunned.  I stood there with an ache in my heart that was way too familiar on this journey with God.

What to do?

What to do?

What do you do when God hands you information like this?  When He fills your heart with an ache that just isn’t going to let go?  When He open your eyes to walls that are crumbling, lives that are broken, and then let’s you look at the hands at your side?  Do you really turn, thank the person for the update and walk away?

Must we always tell Him, “No that’s too much, too big, impossible to help…?”  Is it…is it really?

So I thought…quickly.  Somebody has to be able to reach him, and I pray that that teacher indeed gives her time.  But I knew when I walked up to Isaiah last year, there was a reason.  I wasn’t sure why.  I don’t like to single out people, and I don’t like to draw attention to myself.  Honestly, as hard as it is to believe, I prefer the drop and runs of service work.  Letting people know that we care, that God loves them, and then leaving the rest in His hands…no need for thank you’s, accolades, or praise…just keeping it simple.  But, deep down…I knew then there was a reason God was nudging to talk to him…that there was a reason he called me over to his table to tell me the names of his stuffed animals.

My question to you is this…what do you do when God breaks your heart?  Do you turn towards it or away?  Do you offer what you can, or do you say you have nothing to offer?  That none of the gifts and blessings God has granted you can be used, or do you trust God He has placed that person, that situation, that information in your path for a reason and allow Him to guide you to a better understanding?

Our world is truly a wonderful and amazing place (just so you know, I am not a fan of those who disparage this world as if it was a mistaken or haphazard creation), but with all of its beauty, it is also filled with hurting, lonely, and yes, many heartbroken people.  Individuals who just need to know God has forgotten them, that they are cared for and have a purpose.  So I asked myself, how can I turn away from Isaiah’s story and do nothing?

So…after much prayer…

Please join us as we venture into uncharted territory for Families Building Faith as we seek to adopt out families at this elementary school and bring them some joy this Christmas season.  I’ve posted four families that can be adopted on our database at www.signupgenius.com.  You must have an invite from us to check this out, and you can obtain one from us by emailing us at familiesbuildingfaith@yahoo.com.  You can also hit the direct link on our postings to those invites at our official Facebook page:  www.facebook/familiesbuildingfaith.  If all four get adopted, we will see if we can get more posted…the school is willing, we are willing…now let us pray that God move hearts of those who might be able to help.

The key to our program will be having everything turned into us so that we can deliver the last couple of days of school at this elementary school.  The due date to our doorstep is Monday, December 17th…but you are always welcome to drop off beforehand.  We are setting spending limits (this is not about Sony Playstations) to simple gifts, and we will also be asking for food donations…specific to each family’s ability.  Some may be able to cook a ham; others may need lunch meat and bread.

And yes, my family will be adopting Isaiah and his family.  Please pray that somehow I can deliver some of the gifts directly to him letting him know that not only have I not forgotten, but that he has been sought out because God indeed loves him and I truly care.

You might ask why and how we would launch a new program with the craziness of the Christmas season…but isn’t that what it is all about?  A crazy story of love, faithfulness and willingness; a journey to a different place where some were forgotten by the rest; lives to be touched, hearts to be rend, and a world so desperately needing change?  Everything about Christmas is because God so loves us!  And in return, He asks us to love one another…

As I sat at the table during lunch, I shared with some of the parents a thank you note I received from a child after Easter.  In it, the child said it was the only thing she received for Easter.  A grandmother sitting across from me nodded and looked down.  She quietly said, “You don’t know how many of these children only receive things through the school.”  I know it is all too true.

So…

We are hoping to not only adopt out some families but to continue and expand our Toy Drive to cover those whose families aren’t adopted.  Yes, please join us in prayer as we continue to collect gently-used and new toys…praying that God bring us enough to provide a toy to as many as possible, that He move hearts to look at their toy boxes and closets for what they are no longer using, and that He bring us those who can help sort and deliver.

We know it is a big task, but we have a bigger God!  We trust and are asking God to help us move mountains with those willing to share their hearts, hands and ability to bring happiness, comfort and hope to little ones such as these this Christmas morn.  And what a gift He has given us to be a part of it!

“Jesus replied, ‘I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.  If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.'”  ~Matthew 21:21-22